Thursday, May 28, 2009

Unanswered Prayer

"No"-answered prayer might be a better title, but I think that's just semantics.

I subscribe to Challies Dot Com, a blog by Tim Challies, blogger, author, and web designer. He is also the editor of Discerning Reader, a Christian book review site. I found his blog through a link on Carolyn McCulley's blog (another blog I follow--there's a lot!).

Anyway, just about every day, Tim writes what he calls an "a la carte" post. It's basically a collection of five or six random things of interest he's found on the internet. He often links to other blogs, news articles, humorous findings, and there's almost certainly some sort of deal on books that he'll make you aware of.

Today's a la carte included a link to an article on The Sola Panel, a blog written by "a group of Reformed-Evangelical friends who love the five ‘solas’ of the Reformation, and want to promote a Bible-driven passion for theology, holiness and gospel ministry." I thought it worthy of sharing with you as well, so read on:

The blessing of unanswered prayer
by Jean Williams

I hate unanswered prayer. This is not just because I want what I pray for—although that would be nice!—but because my unbelieving heart takes unanswered prayer as an opportunity to doubt God. Here are some examples:

I pray for my son's only close friend, whom we've lost contact with, to call. He doesn't.

I pray that I'll be able to find my car keys so I can get the kids to school on time. They're late.

I pray that my husband will get over his illness; after all, he needs to teach the Bible and care for our family. He stays sick.

I pray that my excited, expectant three-year-old will see a kangaroo on the way home. There's no wildlife to be seen.

I pray that my mood will lift. I stay discouraged.

These are all trivial prayers, and I could give you much bigger examples. But, oddly, I find it easier to trust God with the bigger things. It's the small prayers that trip me up.

When they remain unanswered, my internal monologue begins: “Don't you want my son to have friends, Lord? Why don't you want my morning to run smoothly? If my husband was well, he'd be able to do ministry. If you answered my prayer for my child, he'd see your power. If I was cheerful, I'd be able to serve my family more easily. Don't you want that? Can't you see what I want is best? Don't you love me? Why don't you think I should have this when it's clearly good for me? Aren't you the God of the universe? I'm starting to wonder if you're real!” I conveniently forget all the prayers God has answered over the years. I forget that God doesn't exist for my convenience.

I was brought up short by CJ Mahaney's comments from Mark 10:35-44 about the blessing of unanswered prayer:
I want to celebrate unanswered prayer. I want to ... thank God for all the prayers I have prayed sinfully motivated, that the Saviour hasn't answered. I want to thank God that he is sovereign, not sentimental. I want to thank God for all the times when ... I have approached the Saviour demanding that he do for me whatever I ask, ... that the Saviour's response was not simply, “You don't know what you are asking”, but that he withheld an answer to that prayer. I am grateful to God for unanswered prayers.

Here's a question, though: how do you respond to unanswered prayer? I believe how we respond to unanswered prayer normally reveals our motive and ultimately reveals the purpose of our prayers. If I encounter someone who is bitterly declaring, “I have prayed ... and the Lord hasn't provided”, that is usually the voice of someone who wants to use God ... rather than serve him for his glory. I find unanswered prayer purifies my motive, and often alters the very content of my prayer as well. (Source)

My disappointment and doubt when my prayers are unanswered show what's in my heart. I think that God should see things my way. I think that he exists to make my path smooth. But where in the Bible am I given such a small view of God—a God whose thoughts are, well, my thoughts (Isa 55:8-9)? Where am I promised that every stone and bump in the road will be levelled before my feet?

In his mercy, God doesn't say “yes” to my petulant, childish demands. Like a loving parent, he says “no”. When I respond with whining self-pity, like a spoiled child declaring, “It's not fair!”, my wise Father doesn't give in. He gives me what is truly good—what makes me more like Jesus, what furthers his kingdom, and what brings glory to his Son—rather than what looks and feels good to me at the time.

God sees things from a very different perspective to me. He sees things from the perspective of inconceivable wisdom, infinite goodness and immeasurable love. He sees things from the perspective of his glory. And perhaps, just perhaps, as he leaves my petty prayers unanswered, he nudges me towards bigger prayers—prayers not just for my comfort and my family's happiness, but for our persecuted brothers and sisters, the millions who haven't heard the gospel, and the coming of his kingdom.

Praise God for the blessing of unanswered prayer.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Whatever

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:17).

There are many and varied ways to fast.  We certainly do not want to fall into legalism in our pursuit of God.  We pursue God because of His Great Grace in pursuing us first.   We fast and pray because it is commanded in scripture.  We must fast and pray in some way.  But whatever way you do it, do it from a heart of love for who He is and what He has done.  If you have not read the FreeTruth posts on fasting I encourage you to do so for inspiration and a correct understanding of fasting.

So, how does a woman fast?   You may be someone who is taking medication and that medication must be taken with food.  You may have hypoglycemia, or diabetes and you need to eat at regular intervals.  You may have a job that is physically strenuous (like caring for children) and therefore, you need to be fueled for your work.

May I offer a suggestion?  If you find yourself in a category where fasting from food is physically impossible, fast from something else.  Find one thing that you can do without for the next two days.  I'd even suggest (only a suggestion) that it be something you really, really, really enjoy.  That way, when you are "hungering" to do that thing, you can experience the privilege of crying out to God to satisfy your hunger with Himself.  It may be music in the car while you are driving.  Instead of turning on the music, you can use that drive time for worship filled prayer.

A couple of tips for the stay at home mom.  Susannah Wesley had 19 children.  When she needed to be in God's presence in the midst of her busy days (without electric appliances) she would lift her long apron over her head and kneel right where she was.  Her children knew their momma needed God at that moment and they knew they'd better not get in the way.  At a very young age children learn what is going on.  We explain many things to children and they understand.  For some reason we think they cannot understand the concept of "being still" for 10 minutes while mommy prays to God.  They can learn to respect mommy's need for God by looking at a book, doing a puzzle or enjoying a healthy snack.  I know a young mom who taught her 2 year old to have her "God time" with Bible and notebook and crayon (for taking notes) while her Mommy had "God time".

Another suggestion is to set the clock for 1/2 hour earlier, or withdraw to your room 1/2 hour earlier in the evening.  And turn a blind eye toward the dust on the furniture that you are certain to see when you sit down to read and pray.

Now, if you are preparing for a complete fast from food, may I suggest you prepare your body for it?  It is too late to do this for MOG, but you can fast anytime.   I wanted to be caffeine free for this fast.  I've tried to go "cold turkey" in the past but quickly gave up from the headache. This time a friend advised me to wean myself off the caffeine and food.  And it worked!!  I'm very excited about this, and very thankful. 

Ladies, there are people in our church who do extended fasting.  I was stunned by this when I first heard of it.  If any of you want to know more about how to prepare for a fast, or do an extended fast, ask me and I'll give you their names.  They have been a help to me.  

Whatever you do, do it for the right reasons:  out of a heart of love, and a hunger for more of God.  

I'd love to hear of how the Lord is leading and teaching and filling you in this spiritual exercise.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Help! I'm Hungry!

It isn't easy going without food, or rest, or TV, or housework. The seemingly urgent usually wins the contest of choices. How in the world do we enter a 2 day fast with any hope of achieving our goal whether the goal be no caffeine, or no lunch, or no shopping mall, or less computer, or no television time? The spirit most certainly is willing, but the flesh most definitely is weak (Matthew 26:40).

Jesus spoke the previous verse to the disciples because they could not stay awake in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Jesus understood their struggle.  But after His death and resurrection God gave us the third Person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit, "The Helper" (John 14:15-27) to help us in our weakness.  Philippians 4:13 reads, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Here the Apostle Paul is reassuring the Philippian believers of how well he had been cared for by the Lord. These Christians had been concerned for Paul's needs and had indeed helped him financially. Paul gives to them a sincere "thank you" but goes on to let these believers know that anything he has needed has come from the Lord--even hunger. Paul had learned to be content in any circumstance, including abundance and need.

But Paul also recognized the remaining battle with conflicting desires.  While in this life, we will war against our flesh.  That's what Romans 7 is about.  Any time we want to perform a spiritual exercise, the flesh wages war against us.  It is good to know this.  We are not alone in this battle.  It is "common to man."  But God always provides a "way of escape" for every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).

So, if we fast and pray, and have some measure of success, that success comes only through the help and gracious activity of the Holy Spirit within us.  By ourselves we will fail every time.  So, my first word of encouragement to you today is this:  as you prepare yourself for More of God, or as you sit for your morning devotions, it is good to recognize you are entering a spiritual battle zone.  It is real.  It is a battle for your soul.  Ephesians 6 teaches us how to prepare for the battle.  We must be fully equipped with the armor God provides.

My second encouragement for you today is this:  If you find within your heart a desire to be in God's presence, be encouraged!!  That desire did not come from you.  In our flesh we do not seek after God.  If we are seeking Him it is because He is seeking us first!!  So, if you desire Him, draw from the Helper, the Holy Spirit to assist you.  Put on the armor of God as mentioned above, and be ready to fight the flesh all the while clinging to His promise:  "and without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him" (Hebrews 11:6).

In faith toward God and His promises, find one thing you can let go of in the next two days and use that "space" to find and be filled with More of God.

I'm still praying for you ladies as I pray for myself. We are in this battle against the flesh together.  It's a battle, but it also a battle already won!! Thank you for standing with me in the love of Jesus our wonderful, wonderful Savior.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Mown Grass

In two days our church will be starting another time of fasting and prayer. Are you uncomfortable with this? Does it seem that there is absolutely NO WAY you can not eat for part of a day, or a whole day, or two whole days? Does it seem impossible to set aside time just to pray? Where would that time come from, what with kids and all?

May I ask you a couple of different questions? "Have you ever felt like mown grass, ready to wither beneath the summer sun, unless refreshed by rain?" (Amy Carmichael) Have you ever felt needy? poor? helpless? weak? oppressed?

Psalm 72 provides the answer for these human emotions. As women we know too well the feelings of fatigue, discouragement, and helplessness. I know women who are at this moment feeling abandoned and uncertain about the future. I know women whose husbands have lost their jobs. Certainly they are feeling financially poor and needy. I know women who are feeling oppressed by their employer, or their unbelieving husband. I know women who are weighed down with the cares of a needy loved one. I know women who live in sorrow for their rebellious son or daughter.

How good it is to know that we have a God who cares and has provided us the answer for all these needs. How good it is to know the God who has provided for our greatest need: sin. Jesus, who gave His life on the cross to bear the penalty for our sin, is our burden bearer for all of life. This Great Savior now lives as our Great High Priest, and is able to "sympathize with our weaknesses, because he was in every respect tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:15-16).

Ladies, I'd like to encourage you to spend some time in the next few days reading the Psalms. May I suggest Psalm 46, 57, and 103 for starters? Or, if you are feeling condemnation under the burden of your sin, Psalm 51 (in combination with Romans 8) is for you. Or if you are in a place where you are simply hungering for More of God, in Psalm 63 you will find joy in the company of another who also thirsted for God.

Tomorrow I'd like to share a few suggestions for how to fit MOG into your schedule and lifestyle. But for now, may God's word and His Holy Spirit pour over your soul like refreshing rain. I am in prayer for you that this will be your experience and great delight.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Memorial Days

Our family is very thankful for our country and the freedoms we enjoy. But we have never been ones to go to the town parades on Memorial Day. We do, however, have a deep appreciation for the many men and women who have fought for our nation. Like many, we have nephews and many friends who now serve in the military. For these we are truly thankful.

Today, after this morning's message I'm thinking about other kinds of memorial days. The kinds of memorials that dazzle our children. As women of God we need to catch a vision for passing on the truths about God to our children and grandchildren. Children love stories. Each biblical account of God's activity in the lives of His people is a memorial to God's dazzling plan and purposes.

Children also need to hear the stories of God's activity in our own lives. But how can this be done when we so easily forget in the passing of an hour, what God did just a few moments ago? I can still hear the voice of my good friend, Nancy, saying, "write it down." But our lives are very full and move at lightning speed. How in the world are we to write something down when we don't have the time to look for the pen and paper with which to write it?

I used to count on my memory to assist me in the retelling of God's doings in my life. Big mistake. So much has been lost. My children now remind me of things we once did; things of which I have no recollection. Tim recently asked me to draw from my memory bank some God-dazzling moments that he could retell to a group of young people. Sadly, I had little to offer him. That's not because there haven't been any. There have been many. But other than the "big" ones we have told so often, I came up empty.

How can I resolve this problem? How can I help you to not do as I have done? God's people in the OT used to set up stone memorials to commemorate a powerful work of God so that when people passed by they would see it and be reminded of God's covenant keeping promises. Is there a way to remember, without rock piles scattered throughout our yards? My answer is simple: "write it down." Make a written memorial of each day. When God supplies a need, when God prevents an accident, or when God gives grace in an accident, or death or trial, or when God answers a prayer, or opens up a opportunity for witness, etc. we need to write it down. Some things might seem trivial and not worth remembering, but the accumulation of daily mercies will have a powerful impact on those who read it, or hear you speak of it.

Here's my idea. When I go to do email, or read a blog, or read peoples' status on facebook, I'm going to take a minute to pull up my new word document, "Memorials to God". It will be a journal, of sorts, but one that is only for those dazzling moments God brings into my days. Some things might seem trivial and not worth remembering, but the accumulation of daily mercies will have a powerful impact on those who read it, or hear you speak of it.

I know how hard it is to fit one more thing into the schedule. But unless you are certain your memory will be better than mine is, you may want to find a way. I believe you will find this to be a faith strengthening exercise for your own soul. When after a few weeks or months when you are faced with a seemingly impossible circumstance, it will be helpful to look back in your journal and be reminded of God's covenant keeping activity in days gone by. It will help you to look to Him with faith for that moment and for the many moments yet to come. Speaking from experience I can guarantee you will be glad you did.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

all we like sheep

I love spring. I love the flowers and the green grass. I'm one of those annoying people that loves the rain, too (even seven days of it in a row). Every spring God displays His wonderful, sustaining grace by the renewal of His creation from death to life. It's amazing to contemplate.

Perhaps my very favorite thing about springtime is seeing the new lambs at Longstreet Farm in Holmdel. I've been going there every year to see the lambs since I was a baby. This little guy to the left is one of this year's new flock. This is what I've learned about sheep over the years: they're pretty dumb. All I've ever seen them do is eat and lay down and sometimes poke their heads out of their little shed. Sometimes they're fluffy. Sometimes they're sheared, often badly uneven and a little stained at places from the nicks. If you hold out grass to them, they'll eat it without a moment's hesitation. They're not very curious, just sort of complacent.

Last year Robin and I saw a tiny little guy that had squeezed through the fence from his pen into an adjacent field. The grass truly was greener on the other side of the fence, and he was having the time of his life, just one tiny little lamb in a huge field of green grass that was almost taller than he. Once in a while he'd look up from his feast and glance around, but I guess what he saw never concerned him, because down his head would go again and the munching resumed.

Every year the sheep remind me that God calls us His sheep. And to really appreciate that, you just have to sheep-watch. Like that lamb in his big field, who left safety behind to indulge his pleasures, we all have gone astray. And Christ, the Good Shepherd, is seeking out the lost sheep, gathering them together, and defending them.

Have you thought about the fact that God had us in mind when He made sheep to be so defenseless and dumb? It didn't just occur to Him one day that hey, the sheep and the people are alike, and besides what a nice poetical metaphor, maybe He ought to use that. Nope. He created the sheep exactly the way it is so that when we see one, we think, "We are His people, the sheep of His pasture. And as the sheep without the shepherd is lost, so am I lost without the Shepherd and Guardian of my soul." The sheep are silent preachers, silent testaments to the fact that we must be saved entirely on account of Christ's work and none of ours.

Truly, all creation displays His wonders and testifies of His goodness!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My New Bathrobe

Last summer my mother gave me a new summer robe. It was very kind of her to think of giving me something I do not often buy for myself. She could probably tell it was time for something new. But there was a problem. My mother is 80. The robe was a style she would wear (it was what her generation calls a housecoat). It was fine for her but definitely not for me. I only wore it a few times before fall came and I then put it away for something warmer.

As I was unpacking the spring/summer clothes recently, I came upon this item. I sighed, knowing it wasn't my favorite but without another option, I hung it in my closet. I've been wearing it for the last few weeks. One day recently I saw a robe which was more my style. I ordered it online, but I wasn't sure it was the right use of money at this time (I should have conferred with Tim). When it arrived I did not even take it out of the package -until this morning.

You see, last night Tim told me he had recently wanted to surprise me with a new bathrobe. He had done some cursory shopping (Tim is very ill at ease shopping in the women's department). Not seeing anything at first glance in a couple of stores he determined he would take me shopping to pick something. So, last night as he was telling me this he told me the reason he wanted me to have a robe was because when I wear the one my mother gave me I look like my mother. Tim loves my mother and sees her to be a beautiful woman, but he said he'd rather not see me in a tent. He wanted me to have something that was more me. It should not have come as a surprise that Tim had noticed, but hearing him give his opinion on this "housedress" did. I had to smile. I needed that reminder that Tim does notice and he does care how I look. Even at home in a bathrobe. Especially at home in a bathrobe. So this morning I surprised him with my new robe. He was pleased. I was pleased.

I share this story with you because I know how easy it is to get comfortable with how we look around our husband. It is easy to forget that a wife was designed by her Creator to be a "...helper fit for him Gen. 2:18." I learned again that I can "help" my husband with what I wear.

Do you know what is your husband's clothing preferences for you? Sometimes the only time we ask for our husband's opinion on clothing is when we ask them, "does this make me look fat?" May I encourage you today if you are married, to consider how you dress for your husband both in the home and in public. There is so much out there screaming for our husband's visual attention, we can "help" them by dressing in a way that is appropriately pleasing in public (clean, modest, current and fitting for our body size, shape and skin tones), and pleasantly attractive in private. Why not ask him for his likes and dislikes? Maybe it's time for a wardrobe makeover of sorts - with your husband as the one giving the suggestions. It could be fun!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

A baby named "Rosie"

In my last post I shared my thoughts on praying for my grandchildren. This morning I am praying for my great-grandchildren. Specifically my great-granddaughter. Her name is (or will be) Rosie. Her mother, Allyson, is 3 years old.

Allyson, along with her brother, is visiting us for two days and two nights (she told her mommy she wished it could be 5). As you can imagine, Tim and I are smiling inside and out. Anyway, soon after we heard Ally's feet running down the hall after her night of sleep, she informed us very matter-of-factly, "When I grow up I'm going to be a teacher of little children and I'm going to have a baby in my belly and her name is Rosie".

Rosie is who Psalm 78 is referring to: "....He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn."

The likelihood is, I will not have much face to face, hands on connection with Rosie. Most likely Ally will live farther away than she does now, and most likely Ally will have in-laws, and another church and a wide circle of friends and ministry. Where will I find my connection with her? I can pray for her now and if I'm alive when Rosie is born I will continue to pray, and send her notes, make calls and see her at large family gathering once or twice a year.

One thing I am going pray for is for the Lord to bring into Rosie's life a number of godly older men and women who will invest in her generation. As Tim said yesterday in his message, this is what many did for our children and we owe them a debt we can never repay.

Tim and I did not have our parents nearby. Both sets of parents lived at least seven hours away. This meant we only saw our parents (our children's grandparents) only a couple of times a year, sometimes less.

We didn't have their help, we didn't have their homes to pop into, we didn't have ready babysitters. But more importantly our children didn't have their example to observe up close. Our children didn't have the blessing of watching their grandparents live life within the church, and in their community.

But what our children did have was a Church. The Household of faith. The Family of God. The Body of Christ. I am so thankful for those who invested their lives in our children. I am so thankful for the singles who took more than a polite interest in the kids. Where would my children be today without those who taught them in Sunday School, and youth group? I am so thankful for those who now speak to my 14 year old with a word of encouragement, or care. I am so thankful when I hear my children inspired by an adult because of their burden for the lost, or missions or who demonstrate servant-love for their family or church. I am so thankful when my children are dazzled by God when they hear conversion stories.

This is how I'm praying for Rosie. Oh may the church, her church, be for Rosie what my children's church has been for them.

Friday, May 15, 2009

For Our Children

I haven't read Jonathan Edwards' resolutions but I now am resolved to do so!! I do not know if there is one there for praying for our children, but this has been much on my mind lately and is another duty I am resolving to give more attention. After Tim's message last week, about passing on the faith to the coming generation, I am convinced of the great need to pray for them. I find it interesting that Jesus, during his final moments with his disciples in the upper room, prayed for the next generation:
I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one. I in them and you in me that they may become perfectly one so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. (John 17:20-23)

My children need prayer. My friends' children need prayer. My children's children and my friends' grandchildren need prayer. The next generation church needs prayer. I want to be like Robin's mother, and like my mother: a woman of prayer. This is the most I can do for the coming generation. Then after that, I pray for God to give me opportunities to dazzle them with stories of His work, His truth, His amazing grace.

A friend of mine shared this prayer by Amy Carmichael:

For our Children

Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying,
We are praying for our children.

Keep them from the powers of evil
From the secret, hidden peril,
From the whirlpool that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand pluck them,
Holy Father, save our children.

From the worldling's hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Through life's troubled waters steer them,
Through life's bitter battle cheer them,
Father, Father, be Thou near them.

Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleadings thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.

And wherever they may abide,
Lead them home at eventide.

I'm looking for prayer partners on our children's behalf; for the future church, for the glory of God. Will you join me? I'd love to hear from you.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Resolved

Think about the many resolutions we make to ourselves on a daily basis.

"I'm going to do all of the laundry today."

"I will stick to my diet this time!"

"I am not going to raise my voice at the kids..."

"I'm going to do my best at work today."


Fine goals, even good goals, but I'm afraid they often tend to become foremost in our minds and pursuits. Let us not forget that chores, fitness, (dare I say) kids, and any other thing/person that demands more of our attention, adoration, and devotion than God is an idol.

We must resolve within our hearts to put the Lord first, not just on Sunday...every single day. You know, my strongest memories of my mom are of her sitting on 'her couch' with her Bible spread before her and her always-growing prayer list in her hand. I cannot express how important it is for kids to know that they are not the center of their parents' universe--God is! (Totally off track, but take it for what it's worth...:)


So my last year at college a dear friend handed me a copy of Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions--wow.

These seventy little resolutions contain some of the best advice on 'how to live life' that you will ever get (apart from Scripture). Lord willing, I will periodically do a 'resolution post' because I believe them to be so helpful and edifying (as well as encourage you to read them for yourselves). As he hardly needs my added commentary, I will let Edwards speak for himself.


Resolution 30: "Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before."

Yep. Now the hard part for me is actually doing it. Praise God for grace.

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Sad Mom

I told you this week I would follow up my series on "My Mom" with a word to those whose experience as a child or as a mom was (is) not an easy one. I cannot say it any better than Carolyn Mahaney, who followed up her Girltalk blog post, "A Weary Mom" with the following. I hope you will read it as from my heart to yours with deep affection and prayer.

A Sad Mom

You may wish you were only weary this Mother’s Day.

For you, weariness is merely the byproduct of numbing sadness. You don’t even want to think about Mother’s Day. A day that reminds everyone else of what they have, reminds you of what you’ve lost—as if you needed another reminder.

Maybe your child has rebelled and doesn’t want anything to do with your family. Or maybe you’ve lost a child through death.

I wish I knew the right words to say to you. If I could sit with you today, I would want you to know how inadequate I feel to comfort you. I know that no words of mine can dull the pain. But after I had grieved with you awhile I would remind you of the comfort of the cross.

There, God the Father sacrificed His only Son. This event did not seem to make sense either. But out of Christ’s unspeakable suffering, God, in His perfect wisdom, provided salvation for mankind. If He has purchased our salvation through the suffering and sacrifice of His son, we can trust that He is working good in the midst of our suffering.

May I encourage you to pour out your heart to the Lord of love? He knows, He sees, and he hears. Your tears are not lost on your heavenly Father. He is the compassionate Lord who urges you to draw near to Him. “I, I am he who comforts you” he declares (Is. 51:12).

It was said of Jonathan Edwards that even in the midst of being falsely accused and persecuted his “happiness was out of the reach of his enemies.” Your loss may be much greater, but the truths of the cross can also put your happiness out of the reach of your sorrows.

Because the Holy God sent His only Son, Jesus, into the world to live a perfect life and die a sinless death, in your place, for your sins, and rise again to conquer death, and because he has surely borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, and because He has reconciled us to Himself, called us His children, declared Himself our comforter—because of all this and more, may I be so bold as to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day?

Posted by Carolyn Mahaney on May 08, 2009 at 11:23 AM
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Friday, May 08, 2009

Feeling tired today?

Check out this post from the girltalk blog.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

My Mom (pt.4)

As I draw this series on my mom to a close I want to share my heart for all those who have not had a mom like mine. God in His mysterious providences has a different plan for each family, each life. But for all His children His plan is for their good. Next week I plan to share some encouragements for those whose husbands are not saved, whose mothers are not alive, for women who are childless and the women whose relationship with their mother is painful. For now I want to say to you who are living in that particular trial, "Thank you for reading about my mom even though it may have been difficult, opened up old wounds or brought back memories of mom now gone. If there has been anything that has brought you sorrow, I grieve with you. If there has been anything that has brought you hope, in that I rejoice."

The exercise of blogging about my mom for these few days has been a mixed blessing for me personally. My mother was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. There have been times over the years when I've observed her in her sin, and felt deep grief as a result. As a child, and even as an adult daughter I have been on the receiving end of some of this sin. But because of Christ's work on the cross God does not focus on my sin, neither do I focus on hers.

It was my desire in this blog to honor my mom because:

1. I am commanded by God to honor my parents
2. Because in many, many ways she is worthy of honor.
3. Because God uses earthen vessels to accomplish His purposes, in honoring mom, I (an earthen vessel), give honor to God for His work of redemption in the lives of sinners, families, relationships.

My mom was a faithful mother. Her commitment to her children was real. I never questioned her love but I can't remember anytime during my childhood when she told me she loved me. My mother rarely gave praise. If something good was accomplished, she would give a nod and that was about it. She never attended award ceremonies, sporting events, plays. I think I remember her coming to one band concert. I cannot remember her asking me for details about these things. In many ways I was left to process life on my own.

My mother was a strict disciplinarian. When I talked back to her I got pepper on the tongue. When I disobeyed, I got spanked all the way up the stairs to my room. Sadly though, there was never a time of restoration through loving communication. I was expected to "get over it" and "move on". She rarely explained her reasons for why I could or could not do anything. Her expression on her face told me the case was closed. She had spoken. That was all the reason needed. As hard as this was for me, I am grateful for her firm discipline.

If you were to talk to my mother today you would hear he grieve much of that, and she would wish she could do it over. But that was who she was. When the Lord saved her (when I was around 13) there were changes but much of her personality remained the same: quiet, and disengaged. The Lord was doing His wonderful work in me at that time, so by His amazing grace I did not rebel against what seemed to me to be high expectations for outward morality without loving, tender guidance encouragement and grace.

I learned much from my mother. I learned from the good example she was in many, many ways. I learned from the not-so-good things as well. It all has been used by God for my good.

Today, I enjoy sweet fellowship with mom over the phone. It is a wonderful thing to be a "sister in Christ" with my mother. When I share a prayer request I know she will pray. When an answer to prayer pops up as if out of nowhere I say, "Mom must be praying." We share what God is teaching us, and recommend books to read. Though I only see my mother once or twice a year for only a few days each visit, I feel closer to her now than I have ever felt.

I love you MOM!

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

My Mom (pt.3)

Long before the Lord saved my mother, God gave both of my parents insight into His design for marriage. Largely unaware of the biblical roles for husband and wife my mother almost instinctively looked to my father to be the head of the home. This is a testimony of God's common grace on their lives. Theirs was a happy marriage. While my father was a very hard worker, providing his family with the basic needs for life (and a bit more), my mother (also a very hard worker) was content finding joy in managing the home. As a child I found a great deal of comfort in how life played out in our family.

I took much comfort in observing my mother's love for dad. Mom demonstrated her love for dad in simple but meaningful ways. Her acts of love were never accompanied with great fanfare. I cannot remember her ever verbalizing her love for dad in my hearing. But I knew her love was true.

Mom was always busy with giving my father hot meals, packed lunches for work, baked goods for snacks and desserts. There was always laundry on the clothesline, and clothes being ironed, even sheets and underclothes. I never heard my father "where's my ...." his clothes were always ready for him. And though not fancy, our house was always clean and decorated with my mother's eye for simple beauty.

Mom also knew how to rest. She would lay aside her work to spend time with dad. It was either a ride in the car, working together in the yard, watching television or visiting with family and friends, playing games. Mom knew how to laugh and she always enjoyed listening to Dad tell others a story.

As a child I felt like all was well with the world when I saw my mom lay her hand on dad's as they watched television together. I don't ever remember her resisting Dad's displays of affection: a kiss from behind her as she stood at the sink, or his hand on her leg as they rode in the car. I remember my mom preparing for bed most nights bathing and smelling clean and fresh. I remember hearing her giggle and laugh out loud in the bedroom with my dad. This was a very good thing and so good for this child to hear. My mom and dad were in love.

When my father became disabled 38 years ago my mom was there to help him. That meant that Mom had to go to work. Without a degree she first worked in a department store, then became a bank teller, then went to school for cosmotology. This was so that she could work from home and be more available for her family. My father set up a salon in one room of the house and from there my mother helped my dad by supplementing his social security.

They had their stress points. They had their differences. Mom gave her opinions, but Dad had the final say. I cannot recall a time when I heard my mother complaining about anything to my dad. She may have, I don't know. But clearly she was content in her home and with how her husband was providing for her. It was a simple life, a simple home (they bought and converted the one-room school house my father attended as a child). Together they raised five children (four of which were girls), with only three bedrooms and one bathroom. Mom didn't need a lot but she made the most out of what she had.

This year we will be celebrating as both my mom and dad turn 80, and reach the 60 year anniversary milestone. I am amazed as I trace God's hand upon their lives even before they were aware it was God's hand. God blessed them with an understanding of marriage, family, roles and relationships. Their kind of love and commitment was more than just the product of the "Cleaver Generation". Their kind of love can only be explained by grace.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

My Mom (pt.2)

The Lord saved my mother when she was 42 years old; twenty-two years into her marriage. She began attending a church where the gospel was preached and where she was discipled in the faith. My father was not happy about this change in her. He was jealous and embarrassed by this new life. Though early in her Christian life my mother saw from Scripture that the Gospel gave her the motivation and the grace to be a better wife, my father did not make the connection. And so it was for 24 years, until the Lord graciously and powerfully saved my father, mom lived with a great deal of rejection from dad. He loved her and in most ways was a far better husband than many, but he did not love her faith and he had his ways of letting that be known. Added to this stress was the fact that my father, due to a disability, was at home with my mother 24/7 beginning the same year my mother came to faith. He kept watch lest his wife become overly religious. She was expected to be home 15 minutes after church (including the 15 minute drive home), if he saw her reading the Bible, or when she got a telephone call from a Christian friend my father let his displeasure be known by giving mom the silent treatment for the rest of the day.

So how did my mother respond to this kind of persecution? How did she maintain her joy in Christ?

My mother's love for my father was only exceeded by her love for her Savior. Whenever Dad wasn't around she tuned into Christian radio and allowed the songs of the faith to water her parched soul. She would literally rise while it was night and spend time with her God in prayer and reading. She would have telephone fellowship when Dad was in town running errands. And, she boldly (though lovingly) insisted that she be with God's people for worship on Sundays and for prayer on Wednesdays.

In another post l will share how Mom demonstrated her love for Dad. But today I have wanted to honor Mom by writing of her uncompromising faith in God. I have also wanted to use her as an example to encourage my many friends who are married, yet "spiritually single". For these women I carry their burden in prayer. I pray for their faith in God to be increased so that they may by God's grace live out their calling as a witness in their home. I pray their love for their husbands would deepen and their "unbelieving husband would be made holy because of his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:14). To these dear friends I say, "Do not give up. Do not compromise. Hold fast to God's means of grace both public and private. God sees your life. He knows your needs. He hears your prayers. Seek Him daily in His word and in prayer to find His will and His strength for your mission field: your marriage." I pray that your husbands will be "won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct" (1 Peter 3:1,2).

Monday, May 04, 2009

30 years ago

Thirty years ago today I became a mother for the first time (well, technically I became a mother 9 months earlier). How can someone as young as me have a thirty year old child??? Wasn't it just 5 years ago I was thirty?

I sit here remembering that day when at the Birthing Center Tim and I labored together. We had been trained for this. We knew the phases and stages of labor and knew how to breathe, relax, focus and push. All that was left for us was to hold our baby. That was long before ultrasounds could be used to tell the gender of the baby. The anticipation of finding out girl or boy was for us a big part of the fun of pregnancy. What a moment of joy it was when we heard, "It's a girl!!"

I wish I had been as prepared for parenting as I was for labor and delivery. In many ways we had to learn as we went along. I did not have older women to teach me but we proudly (albeit naively) brought our baby home before she was even 24 hours old. We were so happy, so thankful it didn't fully sink in to us how little we knew about how to care for this little life. It took both Tim and I to change the first few diapers; a rather comical scene it was. Thankfully, God brought us through and kept Alina alive!!

During Alina's first week the Lord gave us Psalm 139:1-24. The truths in this psalm about God have been the anchor for my mothering. It is in this psalm I read of God's handiwork in creating my children. Because all their days (and mine) are fashioned by God I realized it is not up to me to keep my children free from every germ, every danger, every trial. God is the One who orders their days. I am simply His instrument to accomplish His will in their lives.

In this Psalm I am also given precious promises for my own heart which strengthen me when parenting days are tiring, nights are sleepless or the future seems uncertain. God not only knows, God not only orders our days and nights, but God is actively thinking of us. His thoughts of me are vast, and numberless and very, very personal.

When I was feeling alone, far away from the help of family, and without older women in my life to come alongside me, it was a great comfort to know that God was always with me. And, for those many, many moments when I was experiencing the joy of motherhood (which were by far more than the difficulties) it was good to know that my kind God ordained them for me as well.

Thirty years ago I began the great adventure of parenting. Never is one day the same as another. No child is like another. But my God is the same, His promises are still true, and by His Grace and Mercy my children have survived my many failures and mistakes. Isn't He Good?
 
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