My Mom (pt.4)

As I draw this series on my mom to a close I want to share my heart for all those who have not had a mom like mine. God in His mysterious providences has a different plan for each family, each life. But for all His children His plan is for their good. Next week I plan to share some encouragements for those whose husbands are not saved, whose mothers are not alive, for women who are childless and the women whose relationship with their mother is painful. For now I want to say to you who are living in that particular trial, "Thank you for reading about my mom even though it may have been difficult, opened up old wounds or brought back memories of mom now gone. If there has been anything that has brought you sorrow, I grieve with you. If there has been anything that has brought you hope, in that I rejoice."

The exercise of blogging about my mom for these few days has been a mixed blessing for me personally. My mother was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. There have been times over the years when I've observed her in her sin, and felt deep grief as a result. As a child, and even as an adult daughter I have been on the receiving end of some of this sin. But because of Christ's work on the cross God does not focus on my sin, neither do I focus on hers.

It was my desire in this blog to honor my mom because:

1. I am commanded by God to honor my parents
2. Because in many, many ways she is worthy of honor.
3. Because God uses earthen vessels to accomplish His purposes, in honoring mom, I (an earthen vessel), give honor to God for His work of redemption in the lives of sinners, families, relationships.

My mom was a faithful mother. Her commitment to her children was real. I never questioned her love but I can't remember anytime during my childhood when she told me she loved me. My mother rarely gave praise. If something good was accomplished, she would give a nod and that was about it. She never attended award ceremonies, sporting events, plays. I think I remember her coming to one band concert. I cannot remember her asking me for details about these things. In many ways I was left to process life on my own.

My mother was a strict disciplinarian. When I talked back to her I got pepper on the tongue. When I disobeyed, I got spanked all the way up the stairs to my room. Sadly though, there was never a time of restoration through loving communication. I was expected to "get over it" and "move on". She rarely explained her reasons for why I could or could not do anything. Her expression on her face told me the case was closed. She had spoken. That was all the reason needed. As hard as this was for me, I am grateful for her firm discipline.

If you were to talk to my mother today you would hear he grieve much of that, and she would wish she could do it over. But that was who she was. When the Lord saved her (when I was around 13) there were changes but much of her personality remained the same: quiet, and disengaged. The Lord was doing His wonderful work in me at that time, so by His amazing grace I did not rebel against what seemed to me to be high expectations for outward morality without loving, tender guidance encouragement and grace.

I learned much from my mother. I learned from the good example she was in many, many ways. I learned from the not-so-good things as well. It all has been used by God for my good.

Today, I enjoy sweet fellowship with mom over the phone. It is a wonderful thing to be a "sister in Christ" with my mother. When I share a prayer request I know she will pray. When an answer to prayer pops up as if out of nowhere I say, "Mom must be praying." We share what God is teaching us, and recommend books to read. Though I only see my mother once or twice a year for only a few days each visit, I feel closer to her now than I have ever felt.

I love you MOM!