A Word to the Wives

My mind has been spinning since Brian's message yesterday.   As Tim said, "we were given a gift" and I'm living in the wonder of it.  Thank you Brian.  Following up on a message like that is like showing someone a piece of earth and expecting them to get excited when you tell them, "This is the Grand Canyon."  

But my Monday posts are not designed to be a retelling of the previous day's preaching  Rather my goal is to take what was spoken and bring application to women in a way that can't be done from the pulpit.  Woman to woman.  And because I cannot have you all in my home for coffee and a chat I use this blog.  Thank you for listening.

I'm feeling pressed this morning to bring application to wives.  I was watching a movie recently where a wife was complaining to her husband because he was always at work.  It turned out the reason for this was he was trying to live up to his wife's expectations for what a successful husband should be and provide.  She had made it clear over time that he was never doing enough.  He wanted to meet her expectations but she couldn't have her wish list and his time with the family both.

The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about how wives can sin against her husband with her grumbling and complaining.  "dripping faucet", "door swinging on its hinges", "it is better to live in the corner of a rooftop than a wife....." all refer to a woman who is a complainer (NAG).  

My dear sisters, I so appreciate the fact that you have humbly chosen to follow God's pattern for marriage.  I know it isn't easy to release your husband for work, to be content with his income, to be at home all day with the kids, and while living at home all day becoming aware of all the work your husband needs to get done around the house, and the things you think you "need."  

But my encouragement for you today is:  examine your heart, your attitudes, words and actions toward your husband to see if you may be tearing down your house with grumbling and complaining.  Are you discouraging your husband with your displeasure with his provision, or success? 

When I was first married I was tempted to compare my new husband with my father. My father at that time was the age Tim is now.  He'd had 30 years of life, work, home experience.  Tim was just beginning.  How unloving it was of me to expect Tim to provide for me with the standard of living I was used to growing up.  How unloving it was of me to expect him to have the same knowledge of car repair, home repair, etc. that my dad did?  How unloving of me to expect Tim to have the same amount of time off that my dad had earned after 30 years in the same company?  

Thankfully, the Lord revealed this to me very early on.  God very graciously taught me this man who I was madly in love with had a heart for God and living according to God's word.  God was growing him in ways far better than I could ever do with all my grumbling and complaining.  I knew I could trust God for my husband and all the real needs of my life.  

We cannot have it all ladies.  We cannot have a fat paycheck, a bigger home, a better car, a man who is ever present for all our "needs", and a man with a passionate love for Christ. Something has to give.  

May our husband feel our deep appreciation for their labor.  Let us see them off for work (I know one wife who gets up at 4 a.m. to see her husband off with coffee and a specialty sandwich made fresh with her own hands for his lunch).  Let us not "pounce" on them when they return home from work with our demands.  May they not hear our voices or see in our faces any displeasure for how they are providing.  Let us embrace them warmly, and may we look directly into their eyes, and say "thank you for laboring for us and thank you for coming home."

I do not do this perfectly.  Yesterday's message was a good reminder for me in this area.  But I am determined, with the knowledge that God is at work in me and is eager to help me,  to "put on my new glasses," and view everything in light of Christ's humiliation , crucifixion and exaltation.  May we all "work out our salvation" in this area of our lives.  And let us each be truly thankful for our husband. And to rejoice in God. God has said, when we cease from grumbling our lives, and marriages will shine as lights to others.  In other words, our children, our neighbors, family and church will see the difference that God has made and God will be glorified.  That's the great purpose of it all.