Summer Daze

How was your summer? Does it seem like just yesterday school was ending? Does it feel like it was a blur of activity? Or did you have an expectation in mind for what summer would look like and when it didn't happen that way, you felt disappointed? I can easily do that.

It was beginning to happen to me a couple of weeks ago. I was beginning to feel sorry for myself because I hadn't been having/doing summerish kinds of things to the extent I had expected. But then I had to stop myself and think through just exactly what my summer was like. You will notice a common number: #1.

#of evenings at the ocean: 1
#of times to walk the boardwalk with a friend: 1
#of times to get in a pool: 1
#of times to get to "Cook's Night Out": 1
#of times to go to "Jump-In": 1
#of times to sit with a friend on her patio: 1

1 - Family Reunion in Maine
1 - Week of ministry in Maine
1- Family Reunion in NH
1 -Youth Camp
1 - Day trip to Cape May with Tim

It has helped me to make a list and take an objective look at what the Lord has allowed me to do. Besides all the wonderful happenings listed above, there were other very happy, fulfilling and rewarding moments. This exercise sure beats being down in the dumps and sinfully complaining about what wasn't in my summer.

And now I can "smile at the future" of autumn, school, the routine, the holidays and know that God has something special in mind for that as well.

Psalm 90:12, "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."

...and out came this calf!

I’m an excuse maker. I come from a very long line of excuse makers, which I suppose is either a good excuse or a very bad one. As any normal descendant of Adam and Eve, I don’t like to be blamed as the perpetrator of bad behavior and so I have a handy store of good excuses. Such as:

When I haven’t eaten in a while (like, two hours, woe is me),I get a headache, and this makes me cranky. Or, I don’t sleep well, so I’m allowed be lazy, short-tempered, and snippy. Or, I know I’m right, which gives me leave to march over, belittle, and not listen to anyone whose opinion differs from mine. Or, that person is a hypocrite, so I don’t have to joyfully respect or obey him or her. Or, that person just really pushes my buttons, and I just can't help myself.

I’m ashamed to admit that I struggle with every one of these (plus hundreds), oh, maybe a mere seven hundred times a day. Here are two excerpts from two different sermons that are literally haunting me (in a good way) in this area of excuse making.

Character comes out in real life. You ever bumped into a person, maybe in the hall or something, and they were really short with you, grouchy, a little bit angry, turned off, maybe offended you a little? And they just kept going down the hall. And maybe two, three hours later, they come back to you and say, “Hey, I’m sorry. I’m just not myself today because I’m sick. Or, I‘m just not myself today because I have so many problems.”

But what we have to realize is it’s exactly the reverse. When everything is going well with a person, you’re not seeing their real character. You’re seeing them held up by all the good circumstances in their life. It’s when all those things are torn down that you start seeing who the person is.

It would be preferable to go back and say, “Excuse me, I do apologize, but I have no excuses because you saw the real me today.”
Paul Washer, Godly Fellowship

One of the reasons Scriptures hammers so constantly [on the heart] is that you will find a thousand other answers available to you, both from the flesh and from the world around us. There’s thousands of other ways to explain why we are the way we are, and we’ve all used them hour by hour--my parents. . . my kids . . . my allergies--and that’s why I’m selfish, that’s why I’m short and unkind.

Aaron had taken the gold from the people and shaped and fashioned it into a calf for the people. . . .and he told Moses, “So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.” We look at Aaron’s excuse and say it’s absurd, and yet hour by hour throughout every day that is often how we explain ourselves. Why these calves in your life? You say, I dunno -- mom, dad, kids, school, allergies, friends get in there and out comes calves. And we fail to see the massive amount of work that happens in the middle.
John Henderson, Matters of the Heart

Thank God, thank God! I have no need for excuses! Jesus paid it all! All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain--He washed it white as snow!

Snail Mail

I had an unusual occurrence today. I received a piece of personal mail via the US postal service. It was great!!! As handy as email is there is nothing like real mail. But that's not the real point of today's post.

What I received in the mail was a thank you note from a 15 year old girl from Maine. She was one of the campers where Tim and I spent a week teaching. This girl had approached me after one of my lessons and asked to talk privately. After spending time counseling her I prayed for her and she went on her way to join in with the rest of the campers for lunch and afternoon activities.

The week ended, she left, I came home. One never knows what fruit the Lord will bring from sowing into lives. The often repeated response to that statement is: "We'll know in heaven." That is enough for me. But yet, sometimes the Lord allows us to hear the news of a harvest, which allows us to celebrate here below along with the saints above.

This young girl didn't have to write to me. I had assumed the impact of that moment had passed with the lunch call. But seven weeks later the Lord brought about a powerful moment in her life which she believes was an answer to my prayer, and she wanted me to know. How very kind of her. How very thoughtful for a fifteen year old.

This makes me wonder about how many times I've neglected to say thank you to people for big and little kindnesses they have extended to me. Surely I said thank you in the moment, but there is no doubt that a thank you note written seven days or seven weeks, or seven months after the fact, communicates sincere appreciation of a kindness that has not been forgotten. How many times have I missed an opportunity to really bless someone with a note like that.

An email thank you, or a facebook "thinking of you" is good. But who doesn't enjoy and appreciate getting that paper note in the mailbox tucked in between the bills and junk mail. I have a drawer with note cards, birthday cards, sympathy cards. I have a container of pens and a little drawer with postage stamps. I think it is time for me to make better use of these simple tools for the encouragement and building up of another.

Is there anyone in your life to whom you could send a note of thanks through snail mail?

Holy bullets

How have you been doing since Sunday? Has the flesh been waging its war on your soul as it has mine? Have you had your gun loaded ready to put it to death? Have you reviewed the points from Sunday's message to use as your ammo in this fight?

The message on Sunday was what we call a "means of grace". God uses means to pour His grace into our lives. Without this grace the battle against sin would be hopeless. But God gives us much grace and uses many means to complete the work He began in us.

One means of grace is Christian fellowship. For those of you who are married to Christian husbands, this is a means of God working His grace into your life. He, like no one else, knows the real you. There isn't much hidden from a husband. So, why not ask him to pray for you for a particular sin struggle you are experiencing. And while you are at it, why not give your husband to a couple of questions to ask you from time to time that have to do with how you are doing in your battle with this sin. It is less intimidating if you give him the questions to ask. But it is also a good practice in humility when he comes with his own observations, questions and care.

If you are not married to a believer, or if you are not married, why not find a woman from your care group with whom you can ask to help you in this battle?

We really should not fear this kind of care. We should only fear the power of the flesh and how sin will grow if we do not keep pelting it with the holy bullets of God's grace.

A Word from David

This morning's message and the responses to it make me think of an interaction I had ten years ago with my then 4-year old son, David. Let me share the story, then I'll share why it rings a bell with me today.

David is the youngest of my six children. At the time, my oldest was 20 still living at home going to college, my next was away at college, and the remainder were being home schooled. It was a distracting time in my life to be sure, but it was during a short period of time when I was especially preoccupied with life beyond the walls of my home that I had this exchange with David. You see, he'd been disobeying. A lot. But in my distracted state, I gave in to selfishness and laziness and did not address the disobedience as I should have. I was verbally snapping at him, scolding, complaining. This went on for several days. One night as I was tucking him in to bed he said to me, "Mommy, you've been upset with me a lot lately." To which I replied, "Yes, because you have not been obeying Mommy. What I should have been doing is spanking you instead of scolding you." To which David responded with these very instructive words: "Mommy, I would rather you spank me than be upset with me."

David was accustomed to the approach to discipline which Tim and I believe to be biblical: disobedience requires loving discipline which brings about repentance, which leads to reconciliation. Without that, there is a general unpleasantness that pervades the atmosphere creating tension between parent and child. The beauty of biblical discipline done in love is that the air is cleared with lots of cuddles exchanged. The child no longer wonders where he (she) stands in mom's eyes. He is confident in his place as a son under the authority of the parent.

How does this relate to this morning's message? Despite the nature of the message (killing sin), there seemed to be a collective sigh of relief. "Ahhhh, this is the help my soul has needed." Without the Good Shepherd giving me a good shepherd to lead me, to teach me and to put the crook of the staff around my neck to get me out of danger I, like a dumb sheep, often find myself wandering into danger. My conscience tells me I am being disobedient. But I try to suppress this conviction by busying myself with other things. This results in a general unpleasantness in my spirit. I feel distant from God and do not experience the joy and peace of fellowship with Him. What I really need is to receive the rod of correction that brings me to repentance so that I can experience the forgiving grace of Christ and a conscience cleansed.

I was given ammunition this morning for fighting my flesh. May God grant me grace to have my gun loaded with my finger on the trigger so that I will be ready when the enemy appears yet again.

re:grace

Some statements are most poignant when left short. This is a tweet from Noel Piper.

Autistic boy's mom re grace: When I scraped my son's feces off the wall, God said, "Your sin was more repulsive and I cleaned you."

Jesus and Women

This 8-minute video clip from a sermon Dr. Piper preached a few weeks ago is very impactful.
Woman at the Well

I am very guilty of taking my liberty and freedom for granted. Let's not forget the degradation and humiliation women undergo in many countries throughout the world.

crawling with fleas

A book that frightens, amazes, exhorts, rebukes, and encourages me is The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. When we were kids, we would all pile on Mom and Dad's bed, and Mom would read it out loud. Some passages, when I read them today, I read with Mom's voice in my ears. There are several passages that are more vivid to me than others. This is one:

One evening I got back to the barracks late from a wood-gathering foray outside the walls. A light snow lay on the ground and it was hard to find the sticks and twigs with which a small stove was kept going in each room. Betsie was waiting for me, as always, so that we could wait through the food line together. Her eyes were twinkling.

"You're looking extraordinarily pleased with yourself," I told her.
"You know we've never understood why we had so much freedom in the big room," she said. "Well--I've found out."

That afternoon, she said, there'd been confusion in her knitting group about sock sizes and they'd asked the supervisor to come and settle it.

"But she wouldn't. She wouldn't step through the door and neither would the guards. And you know why?"

Betsie could not keep the triumph from her voice: "Because of the fleas! That's what she said, 'That place is crawling with fleas!'"

My mind rushed back to our first hour in this place. I remembered Betsie's bowed head, remembered her thanks to God for creatures I could see no use for."

Corrie ten Boom, with John and Elizabeth Sherrill, The Hiding Place (Minneapolis: World Wide Publications, 1971), 207-208

And what did they need the freedom for? To preach the Gospel. God will have His glory known, and He uses fleas in the middle of a Nazi concentration camp to do it! And so I ask myself, what are the fleas in my life that I ought to be thanking God for instead of moaning and writhing over?

Die to Live

Thought I would post an encouraging word to all of the mothers, teachers, caregivers, etc., and all those who think they have 'unimportant' roles in life.

This excerpt from A Chance to Die (Elisabeth Elliot's biography of Amy Carmichael) was immensely encouraging to me and I don't even have kids! Really, it is to everyone, especially women, who often struggle with 'feelings' of inadequacy and insignificance.

The women of the Band were learning that if the Lord of Glory took a towel and knelt on the floor to wash the dusty feet of His disciples (the job of the lowest slave in an Eastern household), then no work,even the relentless and often messy routine of caring for squalling babies,is demeaning. To offer it up to the Lord of Glory transforms it into a holy task (emphasis added).
"Could it be right," Amy had asked, "to turn from so much that might be profit and become just nursemaids?"
The answer was yes. It is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which important or unimportant--he is not greater than his master.
"If by doing some work which the undiscerning consider 'not spiritual work' I can best serve others, and I inwardly rebel, thinking it is the spiritual for which I crave, when in truth it is the interesting and exciting, then I know nothing of Calvary love (emphasis added)," Amy wrote after many years of such "unspiritual" work.

Everything we do matters. It is either offered up as service to the Lord or it is done in a spirit of rebellion.

Changing dirty diapers matters. Doing laundry matters. Our speech matters. Slicing mortadella matters. Cutting hair matters. Taking exams matters.

It will all be either wood, hay, and stubble or gold, silver, and precious jewels.

The underlying foundation of everything we do is the cross. To perform 'menial' tasks in a worshipful, joyful, meaningful way, the cross must be central in our mind.

In Christ, there is not a single area of our lives that does not count for eternity. Now that brings excitement and purpose to our lives, doesn't it?!?!

Going to Camp

Tomorrow we leave for youth camp. This is the fourth year Sovereign Grace Church has invited Trinity to share this experience. It is a privilege to be invited. It is a privilege to go. There isn't anything better we could give our teenagers. For not only is this a place and time where kids encounter God, it is a place and time where kids connect with their parents in a significant way. Here is a place where it is cool to hang with parents.

One of the highlights for our family is when during one of the evening worship times, the singing stops and the teens are encouraged to go to their parents and pray for them. Not the parents for the teens, the teens for the parents. There is a holy buzz of voices - teenage voices, giving thanks and interceding for parents.

Another highlight is seeing and hearing over a hundred teenagers lifting their voices, hearts and hands in worship to God. But not only is this an exhilarating worship experience, it is a time of deep theological instruction and challenge from the Word of God. But not only is this a time of biblical instruction it is a time for application. Parents and teens break away and spend time together discussing areas where each wants to apply the teaching. There is honest and open giving and receiving of care from parents and teens.

Unless you've been to youth camp there is really nothing that compares to it. But try to imagine giving your kids a summer adventure that lasts four days, with lots of friends, with lots of fun but along with all that has the spiritual benefits that lasts a lifetime. In my thinking that is worth just about any amount of money. Certainly it is far more valuable than the cost of the camp.

Each year a few more from TFC come along. I hope that over time this is something that every parent will write in their summer calendar, and in their family vacation allowance. One joy of experiencing something great is sharing the experience with people you love. I'm eager to share this joy with more and more of you.

Getting the Job Done

I was in the nursery yesterday. What a blessing. A tiring one, but a blessing just the same. As I was sitting there I was thankful for that room all set up with toys, and furniture and complete with a toddler bathroom. I can remember when we had nursery in the library of the school where we met for church before we had a building. Now that was interesting!! Trying to keep all those little hands away from all those books was a challenge!! But no more!! For almost four years we've been experiencing the blessings of a church building. It is good to remember what life was like before the building, and to remember what it cost us in labor and finances to have our building. Four years ago we were all pushing to get the work done. Floors were scraped. Walls were painted. Doors, trim, tables were sanded, stained and polyurethaned. Everyone who was a member of the church at that time had a job to do. With prayer and perspiration the job got done.

In listening to Tim's message yesterday afternoon I was helped to learn there is a way to defeat the "enemy within" (the flesh). We need to have a good memory and an active faith. We need to remember that "those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh" (Galatians 5 24). And we need "faith working through love" (Galatians 5:6).

Just as remembering what it cost us to have our church building can give us a renewed appreciation for our building, I want always to remember what it cost Christ to get the job of salvation done for me. And from that place of remembrance I can live in active faith working through love in Him. Doubt and fear be gone!!

eating and thanksgiving

Women and food. It's a struggle that goes back to the Garden. As modern American women, we know about diets. All sorts of diets. And somehow every diet has just ONE EASY RULE to follow--I know this because I get fifteen emails a day in my spam folder telling me so. Don't you wish there were one easy rule by which we could put the flesh to death in this area? Well, since you asked...

For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,
for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer. (1 Tim. 4:4-5)

John Calvin said,

And since, as we have said several times, he is honored in the manner due him when he is acknowledged as the author of all blessings, it follows that we ought so to receive all those things from his hand as to accompany them with continual thanksgiving; and that there is no just reason for us to make use of his benefits, which flow and come to us from his generosity, with no other end, if we do not continually utter his praise and render him thanks. For Paul, when he testifies that they "are sanctified by the word . . . and prayer", at the same time hints that without the word and prayer they are not at all holy and pure for us. (Institutes 3.20.28)

This is the rule regarding food: you never, ever put anything in your mouth without thanking and praising God for it. You don't swallow without praising Him. You don't digest without praising Him.

Calvin later says that our silence is spiteful when we fail to praise Him. There is not a bite too small for Him to be praised for. (Sometimes I don't remember until it's going down my throat, but hey, praise Him for reminding me to praise Him!) This also helps me control how much and what is going into my mouth. Can I really praise Him as he deserves when I'm just feeding my flesh?

I'm throwing out the idea of "saying grace" before meals, and I'm replacing it with a prayer of genuine thanksgiving before, during, and after the meal. No more bored thank you for this food, bless it to our bodies, amen for me. God tells us to pray that He supply our daily bread--and if you ate today, then He did. So praise Him! And thank Him! And realize how blessed you are.

Meanwhile, there are Christians all over the world who are starving. Right now. Can I be the means that God uses to provide their daily bread?

"Discipline"--Eating and Drinking

Since 'eating to the glory of God' has been brought to my mind this week, I have been rethinking my eating habits, examining them to see where they are not in line with God's Word.

The Bible has much to say on the subject of eating. The hard part is determining, "How do I mold my habits after the Biblical example?"

Elisabeth Elliot's book Discipline offers a good deal of wise council. Her chapter on the 'discipline of the body' discusses eating habits pretty thoroughly. I would like to share some of her words with you all...

"A body needs food. Food is a question of discipline for us who live in very rich, very civilized, very self-indulgent countries."

"It is significant that only 10 percent of our nation's top executives are overweight. This seems to me to indicate that few men who have not succeeded in curbing the appetite will make it to the top. Physical restraint is basic to power. They do it for power in this world. We do it for power in another."

"Many a Christian has found the hardly hoped-for strength of the Lord when bringing to Him some very real, very difficult physical need. If weight has quite literally become a 'burden,' why should we not bring it to the Lord and ask for His help in overcoming it? Can my will not cooperate with His in this matter as in spiritual matters? For some, fasting might be the place where discipline begins, even if they are not overweight. For others, dieting will be the place, whether it means eliminating junk foods for the sake of sounder health or eliminating calories for the sake of a normal weight. 'You do not belong to yourselves. You were bought at a price. Then honour God in your body.' "

Elliot's main concern is that we acknowledge God's commands in all areas of our lives, not just in the areas that come easily to us.

I imagine for some who read this, the thought of struggling with eating too much or too little or too absent-mindedly is completely foreign. But there are others who are in bondage to food--thinking about it, planning for it, preparing it, lusting after it, etc.

It is important to realize that we can bring our fleshly desires under control, in a Christ-exalting manner, ONLY by the grace of God. What peace and joy comes when we realize the power is in Christ! 'What is impossible with men, is possible with God.' The same power that calls a dead man to life empowers us to shake off sinful habits.

Something that has helped me tremendously is to examine my thoughts. When I find myself thinking a lot about what I am or am not eating, I realize just this: 'I am thinking far too much about a very insignificant thing. How have I let a trivial thing gain a prime position in my thoughts?'

The more we adore our Savior, the more we abide in Him, the more we find our satisfaction in Him, the more like Him we become. The best way to combat the pleasures of sin is to partake in the pleasures of God!

Eating to the Glory of God

Did Sunday's post make you uncomfortable?  It did me.  Does the idea of bringing our eating into obedience to Christ (as Tim suggested it might) seem like trifling to you? Aren't there more important sins to worry about?  Isn't overeating one of the "respectable sins" for Christians; one we don't like to talk about? Aren't we supposed to enjoy God's good gift of food?

A simple study of the word gluttony (excessive eating) in Scripture will answer the first and second question. Each individual knows for herself when her eating goes beyond what she needs for good health.  But food is not given to us only for survival.  It is one of God's many gifts to be enjoyed. 

In Scripture we see God's people enjoying feast days.  We read of Jesus attending a wedding and eating with tax collectors.  He must have eaten his fair share to be accused by the Pharisees of gluttony.  But the accusation and the reality were two separate things entirely.  Jesus knew how to enjoy food.  He knew how to celebrate.  He knew how to feast.  Aren't you glad?  But He was always in complete control.  He always ate in a manner which glorified His Father.

In today's culture it seems every day could be a feast day.  We have so much food available to us.  The food options for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (not to mention between-meal "meals") are mind boggling when compared to the simple fare of day to day life in Bible times.  We have ingredients and every food from around the world available to us at the local supermarket or nearby specialty shop.   We have a 24-hour food network channel, and countless food magazines all of which stir up our appetites to have yet one more feast.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love to feast.  The problem is, I love to feast too much and too often.  I love to be invited into the homes of fine cooks.  I have a great appreciation for those whose pleasure it is to cook (remember I recently told you I'd only eat cold cereal if my family wasn't depending on me to cook).  And although cooking is not my favorite part of my job description (Proverbs 31:15) I do enjoy trying new things from time to time.

The problem comes when feasting becomes a daily experience and I am eating way more than what is necessary for survival. On a day to day basis, my eating needs to be brought into submission to God's law.  And even when I'm feasting, while I'm free to enjoy, I must not sin by crossing the line from liberty to gluttony.

For me that means as a general rule I follow portion guidelines.  I don't lick the knife when making the kids a peanut butter sandwich.  I don't eat something just because if I don't "it will go to waste."   (I never did figure that one out. How is eating the last cupcake, which has absolutely no nutritional value, good stewardship if I've already had enough?  Wouldn't it be better to let it go into the waste than into my waist?) I don't veer off the road for a quick bite here and a quick sip there.

Women who stay at home all day have unique food temptations.  Women who work outside the home have their own set of temptations. Food is readily available wherever we are. Plus we are constantly being bombarded by advertisements for the hottest, the freshest, the sweetest, the creamiest.... 

How can we encourage one another in this area?  I think one way is to bring it into the discussion of pursuing holiness.  Let's not be afraid to talk about this with one another.  We all battle the same desires.  Can we help each other eat "to the glory of God" (Colossians 3:17)?

Two Cookie Diet

I'm sure you've heard of the protein diet, grapefruit diet, water diet, etc.  Have you tried them? I'm guessing that 98% of those reading this blog have tried at least one weight loss program if not several.  

Have you ever heard of the two cookie diet?  Sounds like something you might read on the front page of a woman's magazine:  "EAT COOKIES AND LOSE WEIGHT!!!"

This isn't really a diet.  It is a way of life which my very dear friend Pat "imposed" upon her husband early in their marriage and became the way of life for their family.   I'm not sure of the reasoning behind Pat's "law" but it must have presented a strong enough motivation for her young active husband to go from an "open cookie jar" policy in his mother's home to the two cookie rule in his own home.

After this morning's message it occurred to me that when Tim and Pat eat only two cookies they are reflecting God's character.  What characteristic?  Self-control.  How is God self-controlled?  God never wants more than He needs.  God never does more than He intends to do.  God always functions within His holiness.  His judgments are perfectly measured.  His gifts are perfectly distributed according to His will.  His power is never out of control (I hate to imagine a God who lacks self-control.  What a shattering thought). God exercises self-control perfectly. In this area (and others) Tim and Pat are living representations of God's character.

When I am called to a life of Christian obedience I am called to:  a "choice to comply with God's law and conform to God's character conscious of both a reverence for God's judging authority and a trust in God's pardoning and power-giving grace" (Tim Shorey).  I have to ask myself: "How am I doing?" 

One area in which I want to better represent the character of God is in the area of my eating. Overeating is the nice word for what I am often guilty of. Gluttony is the biblical term.  We don't like to use that word but gluttony is simply, "excess in eating."

"Being a living representative of my God" should be the driving motivation for exercising self-control in my eating.  "Being a living breathing picture of what God is like" should be all that I need to say "NO" to that extra serving (usually dessert), or that extra treat (large fries), or yet another feast (eating more than I need at the frequent caregroup dinners or church suppers). 

I shouldn't need to follow fad diets.  Simply exercising self-control (simple only through the powerful help of the Holy Spirit within me) will be enough.  But the motivation is just as important as pushing away the plate.  Concern for measurements, my bfi or lean body mass, or how I look in my clothes are not godly motivations, for they are all rooted in pride. Compliance to God's law (I Peter 4:7) and conformity to God's character are the only motivations that matter.

Lest anyone get the wrong idea I want to say that self-control and a trim figure is not the same thing. There are those who have medical concerns that make it difficult if not impossible to be at a healthy weight.  Some may have gained that weight years ago and now are living a life of self-control but don't "look" like they do.

Isn't it good to know that Jesus knows our frame?  He knows our hearts.  And isn't it good to know that when the flesh is weak but the spirit is willing, God is right there to assist our spirit. The Holy Spirit (the Helper) dwells within each believer giving us the power to live godly lives.

And isn't it most wonderful that all the self-control in the world cannot gain us peace with God. Christ has done that for us.  There is the motivation once again; because he died for me I want to live for Him.