I don't know about you (especially those of you with kids), but I have often felt that my day just completely gets away from me. I'm not talking about those rare days when TR is sick or especially fussy, or I have something out of the ordinary going on. I'm talking about the normal days--when you get to 9PM and realize that you meant to do the dishes, put in some laundry, and at least wipe out the bathroom sink, but nothing got done.
Just in the past two weeks, with the help of my husband and Mark Driscoll, I've learned that it's extremely important to be intentional.
"What does that mean?" you might ask.
Well, it means that I need to be deliberate about my life. I need a schedule, and I need it for everything from cleaning, to meals, to date nights, to reading, to playing with my son, to time spent working on the church website, to getting together with other women.
I will admit a certain degree of stubbornness (which is really pride/self-righteousness: my way is better than yours), when my husband suggested that I do this. I didn't want to get tied down to something, I didn't want to go through the process, and I think there was even some good old Genesis 3:16 desire for (against) my husband. Obviously there was a lot of grace applied in the situation, mostly from my husband towards me.
We sat down together (that's key) and he patiently (also key) worked with me to get a list together of all the things I need and want to accomplish in a given month, how much time they take, and how often they should be done. Then I set about figuring out how I'd like those things to fit into my days. Know this well: I was completely overwhelmed. Written out there on the paper it looked like a lot and there was no way I was ever going to get it all done! But once it all got put in the calendar, I realized I had a decent amount of free time and quite a bit of flexibility.
So now my days are pretty ordered, and I have a set plan. That doesn't mean things don't change--for instance, TR's nap isn't always going to be an hour and a half--but it does mean that I can see better how I can move things around when life doesn't go according to plan. And at the end of the day, I can avoid that "day-got-away-from-me" feeling because I know where all the time went.
If you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out (one end of the spectrum), or random and unproductive (the other), or really anywhere in between, I think you could benefit greatly from becoming an intentional woman. I know I have.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
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8 comments:
You're so right about the need to be deliberate and scheduled. I am by nature what Driscoll labeled a "planner" in his Proverbs: Planning talk, but I too often only plan BIG things, while letting the vast majority of life go unordered. Bad habit. I do need to get better about regulating details. I could redeem a lot of time. Thanks for the urging.
Ummmm......yeah. I am the best at intending things and the worst at seeing those things through!
Thanks for this, Brooke.
Have you been listening to Driscoll's entire series on Proverbs? Every single message seems to outdo the last in practical, convicting, wise counsel--they've been a great help.
Robin--I listened to the one from that series about planning by Tim's recommendation. Haven't listened to all of them though.
This is great, Brooke. Thanks. I had one of those days yesterday. I'm taking this advice!
Kate--let me know how it goes!
I too am by nature a planner and a scheduler but sometimes find that the day does get away from me. Thanks for the reminder Brooke. Just a piece of advice from my experience: Let the schedule work for you and you not work for the schedule! God will ordain all the things HE wants you to get done on that specific day and you must allow yourself to rest in that and not be thrown for a loop if everything does not get done on the list for that day. :) It is definitely great to have a plan but be lead in God's grace as well.
Anonymous--exactly! That's what I meant when I said "That doesn't mean things don't change... but it does mean that I can see better how I can move things around when life doesn't go according to plan."
The thing I've found in making this plan is that I don't end up with a long list of things to do each day. Rather, most days I have one or two things that need done, and the rest of the time can be spent with my son, with other women, with my husband, reading, walking--you name it! No thrown-for-a-loop going on here, but an awareness of the ability to shuffle as needed.
I agree, Brooke. I usually make my to-do list each day and go by that. But I definitely need to do more outside my home with my kids. Its when the to do list is done and I have nothing else major to do that I waste time. And suddenly I think "wow, I'm exhausted, forget the gym."
So my goal is to be intentional about not wasting time.
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