My Mom (pt.3)

Long before the Lord saved my mother, God gave both of my parents insight into His design for marriage. Largely unaware of the biblical roles for husband and wife my mother almost instinctively looked to my father to be the head of the home. This is a testimony of God's common grace on their lives. Theirs was a happy marriage. While my father was a very hard worker, providing his family with the basic needs for life (and a bit more), my mother (also a very hard worker) was content finding joy in managing the home. As a child I found a great deal of comfort in how life played out in our family.

I took much comfort in observing my mother's love for dad. Mom demonstrated her love for dad in simple but meaningful ways. Her acts of love were never accompanied with great fanfare. I cannot remember her ever verbalizing her love for dad in my hearing. But I knew her love was true.

Mom was always busy with giving my father hot meals, packed lunches for work, baked goods for snacks and desserts. There was always laundry on the clothesline, and clothes being ironed, even sheets and underclothes. I never heard my father "where's my ...." his clothes were always ready for him. And though not fancy, our house was always clean and decorated with my mother's eye for simple beauty.

Mom also knew how to rest. She would lay aside her work to spend time with dad. It was either a ride in the car, working together in the yard, watching television or visiting with family and friends, playing games. Mom knew how to laugh and she always enjoyed listening to Dad tell others a story.

As a child I felt like all was well with the world when I saw my mom lay her hand on dad's as they watched television together. I don't ever remember her resisting Dad's displays of affection: a kiss from behind her as she stood at the sink, or his hand on her leg as they rode in the car. I remember my mom preparing for bed most nights bathing and smelling clean and fresh. I remember hearing her giggle and laugh out loud in the bedroom with my dad. This was a very good thing and so good for this child to hear. My mom and dad were in love.

When my father became disabled 38 years ago my mom was there to help him. That meant that Mom had to go to work. Without a degree she first worked in a department store, then became a bank teller, then went to school for cosmotology. This was so that she could work from home and be more available for her family. My father set up a salon in one room of the house and from there my mother helped my dad by supplementing his social security.

They had their stress points. They had their differences. Mom gave her opinions, but Dad had the final say. I cannot recall a time when I heard my mother complaining about anything to my dad. She may have, I don't know. But clearly she was content in her home and with how her husband was providing for her. It was a simple life, a simple home (they bought and converted the one-room school house my father attended as a child). Together they raised five children (four of which were girls), with only three bedrooms and one bathroom. Mom didn't need a lot but she made the most out of what she had.

This year we will be celebrating as both my mom and dad turn 80, and reach the 60 year anniversary milestone. I am amazed as I trace God's hand upon their lives even before they were aware it was God's hand. God blessed them with an understanding of marriage, family, roles and relationships. Their kind of love and commitment was more than just the product of the "Cleaver Generation". Their kind of love can only be explained by grace.