On the Lighter Side

Another two feet of snow???

Dug Down Deep (2)

How's the reading going? What are you getting out of Dug Down Deep?

One thought in particular grabbed me this week from the chapter, "Ripping, Burning, Eating." On page 64, Josh says, "I guess all humans have wondered, 'When I pray, does God hear me?' But what this story teaches is that the questions we should ask are, 'Am I hearing God through his Word? Am I listening to him? Am I trembling before his Word?'"

This struck me because it has been true of me. I know there is a definite connection to the "bouncing off the ceiling prayers" and my not "listening" to God. Why am I more concerned that God hear me? Shouldn't I be more concerned to hear Him?

Unity and Humility

I love using my ESV study Bible for my daily reading. The footnotes really help to broaden my thinking about a particular verse, sometimes even a single word in a particular verse. Today I'd just like to share some general thoughts I had about this month's RMMR meditation passage, Philippians 2:1-11, with the help of some of those footnotes.

In Philippians 2:1-2, Paul is encouraging people to unity in the faith. To some this would conjure up toned-down visions of public mind control not unlike George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four. Everyone just think the same way and don't ask questions. But consider this: "[Being of the same mind] does not imply a drab intellectual uniformity; rather, the Philippians are to use their diverse gifts (cf. 1 Corinthians 12) in an agreeable, cooperative spirit, with a focus on the glory of God" (ESV Study Bible, p. 2282). How do we do this? Look back to verse 1 and ask yourself this question: "Are the qualities of encouragement, participation in the Spirit, affection, and sympathy evident in my life?" These are the things that unite us in the faith.

Then in Philippians 2:3-4, Paul goes even further. How can we encourage, love, and sympathize with others when we're all so different? "...Everyone naturally looks out for his or her own interests. The key is to take that same level of concern and apply it also to the interests of others" (ESV Study Bible, p. 2282). I think it's easy for us to say that we think about others, that we esteem them highly. Sure, I extend concern for others in their times of trouble. But do I do so to the same level that I do for myself? Something to think about.

And what does that look like anyway? "Such radical love is rare, so Paul proceeds to show its supreme reality in the life of Christ (Phil. 2:5-11).... Jesus is the paradigm [model] of genuine spiritual progress: not a self-aggrandizing struggle for supremacy, but a deep love for God and neighbor shown in deeds of service" (ESV Study Bible, p. 2282). It looks like the gospel. It looks like being willing to lay your life down for another in the face of great pain and suffering because you know it is ultimately for their good and God's glory.

As a wife, laying down your life might look like making dinner for your husband instead of asking him to pick something up on his way home. As a mom, laying down your life might look like getting down on the floor and playing with your kid(s) when you'd rather be checking out Facebook or watching Hulu. As a single, laying down your life might look like devoting your extra time and money to the church rather than spending it on yourself.

How are you laying down your life?

Practical Advice on Practicing Humility

I think most Christians know what humility is. We know it when we see it. We most certainly know the opposite of humility when we see it.

We have a perfect example--Christ.

What seems to be difficult is to know how to pursue humility. Doing so with the proper attitude and motivation is always a challenge. But perhaps a greater challenge is intentionally pursuing humility in practical daily ways.

Most of you are familiar with C.J. Mahaney--he exudes practical advice. His book Humility is no exception and is full of practical advice that is applicable, imitable, and extremely helpful.

Mahaney starts with the following words: "I'm a proud man pursuing humility by the grace of God. I don't write as an authority on humility; I write as a fellow pilgrim walking with you on the path set for us by our humble Savior" (p. 13).

So this is what a 'fellow pilgrim' offers as advice on how to 'weaken pride and cultivate humility':

Always:
1. Reflect on the wonder of the cross of Christ.

As Each Day Begins:
2. Begin your day by acknowledging your dependence upon God and your need for God.
3. Begin your day expressing gratefulness to God.
4. Practice the spiritual disciplines--prayer, study of God's Word, worship. Do this consistently each day and at the day's outset, if possible.
5. Seize your commute time to memorize and meditate on Scripture.
6. Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.

As Each Day Ends:
7. At the end of the day, transfer the glory to God.
8. Before going to sleep, receive this gift of sleep from God and acknowledge His purpose for sleep.

For Special Focus:
9. Study the attributes of God.
10. Study the doctrines of grace.
11. Study the doctrine of sin.
12. Play golf as much as possible.
13. Laugh often, and laugh often at yourself.

Throughout Your Days and Weeks:
14. Identify evidences of grace in others.
15. Encourage and serve others each and every day.
16. Invite and pursue correction.
17. Respond humbly to trials.

C.J. Mahaney, Humility: true greatness (Colorado Springs, Multnomah, 2005), 171-172.

Seems easy right??? These suggestions are not put before us to discourage us, but to encourage us toward godliness.

Knowing that the grace needed to grow in humility comes from the Lord and that He graciously gives to His children, let's ask and ask and ask for grace. God delights in conforming His children into the image of His Son.

He Humbled Himself

"Humility can only survive in the presence of God. When God goes, humility goes. In fact you might say that humility follows God like a shadow. We can expect to find humility applauded in our society as often as we find God applauded—which means almost never."
John Piper, Are You Humble Enough to be Carefree?

If I had to name my "besetting sin," just pick one out of the pile, I'm pretty sure that most people who really know me would not be at all surprised to hear me say pride. Some of you are nodding, yup, nail on the head. This is not a joke that I'm laughing at, and I don't want you to think I take it lightly. It's a problem.

This month's RMMR meditation passage helped. Phil. 2:1-11 is one of those passages that holds nothing back.

Be of the same mind.
Have the same love.
Be of full accord.
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit.
Count others as more significant than yourself.
Look out for the interests of others.
Have the same mind that was in Jesus Christ.

All of that is impossible for the proud person. Proud people dominate, hate the opposition, are constantly competing and fostering rivalries, count only themselves as important, look out only for themselves, and never, ever have the same mind of humility, servanthood, and obedience that was in Jesus. 

"Humility can only survive in the presence of God," says John Piper. "When God is neglected, the runner up god takes his place, namely, man. And that by definition is the opposite of humility, namely, pride."

Pride isn't funny, or not serious, or "just the way we are." God hates pride. Jesus was humble. Which path am I going to choose? 

So That. So What?

Be sure to look behind you when you put the car in reverse so that you will not back into a car.

If you back into a car (any car, but especially a police car) be sure you do not leave without reporting it so that you will not be charged with a crime.

We all know the use of these two words: so that. Every day we function through the cause and effect reality of life. The sentences above are real life illustrations I learned many years ago about cause and effect. I learned them the hard way (btw I could have been charged with a crime but the police officer extended grace to me).

Throughout life I make cause and effect choices:
I'll go to bed on time so that I can get up early to meet with God.
I will call my mother today so that she doesn't think I've forgotten her (and because I love her and want to hear her voice).
I need to eat less and exercise more so that I will lose the pounds gained through the winter.

You get the idea.

In the three short chapters of the letter to Titus there are fourteen different cause and effect phrases. That's right. Fourteen!!! As we learned a couple of weeks ago, in this book there are 24 references to the gospel. That means more than half of all the verses in Titus are gospel related, and about one-third are cause and effect. Hmmm. Should this be significant? I think so!!

The gospel has a God-ordained purpose for our lives. It's there in order to do something in us and to us. And, living out of the gospel has an effect: it proclaims the beauty and power of the gospel.

The Apostle Paul (along with Titus) had taken the gospel to the people living on the island of Crete. He left Titus there to establish churches, appoint leaders, and instruct men and women how to live in a manner consistent with the gospel they had received. Paul gives us an inside look into how challenging this must have been for Titus. Paul's description of the Creten culture sounds very much like 21st century American culture. The Cretens were: "liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons." Along with that there seems to have been doctrinal deception in the church involving legalism and myths (not unlike "religion" in America).

In Paul's letter to Titus, Paul is giving believers (then and now) powerful motivation for living the "Gospel centered life" (C.J. Mahaney). Think about it with me, will you? The design for women that scripture lays out for us is completely counter-cultural, and counter-intuitive. With the sin that remains in us and the powerful influence of world, we simply cannot do biblical womanhood on our own. We need the gospel to do this.

Here's what I mean:

The gospel encourages me to rest in my righteous standing with God, a standing which Christ Himself has accomplished and always maintains for me. (Romans 5:1; 1 John 2:1) I never have to do a moment's labor to gain or maintain my justified status before God! (Romans 4:5; Hebrews 4:3; Matthew 11:28) Freed from the burden of such a task, I now can put my energies into enjoying God, pursuing holiness, and ministering God's amazing grace to others. (Romans 5:18,19)

The gospel also reminds me that my righteous standing with God always holds firm regardless of my performance, because my standing is based solely on the work of Jesus and not mine. On my worst days of sin and failure, the gospel encourages me with God's unrelenting grace toward me. (Romans 5:21, 6:1; 1 John 2:1,2) On my best days of victory and usefulness, the gospel keep me relating to God solely on the basis of Jesus' righteousness and not mine (Milton Vincent, The Gospel Primer).

Through the grace and power of the gospel, we can live God's way as women. When we do, God tells us we validate (support the truth of) the gospel (Titus 2:5,7,10).

More specifics on this next week. Until then, I am wondering if you would want to read Titus and find these 14 phrases. The words you will be looking for are: "so that, since, therefore, that they, by, and so, for, so as." I think you will find it interesting.

I leave you with this staggering cause and effect statement: "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him" (1 John 4:9,10).

On the Lighter Side

Enjoy!

Dug Down Deep (1) - Favorite Quotes

We thought we'd start out by sharing a selection of our favorite quotes thus far, so here goes!

Jenn:

"I've come to learn that theology matters. And it matters not because we want a good grade on a test but because what we know about God shapes the way we think and live. What you believe about God's nature--what he is like, what he wants from you, and whether or not you will answer to him--affects every part of your life. Theology matters, because if we get it wrong, then our whole life will be wrong" (10-11).

Robin:

"Being a Christian means being a person who labors to establish his beliefs, his dreams, his choices, his very view of the world on the truth of who Jesus is and what He has accomplished--a Christian who cares about truth, who cares about sound doctrine" (19).

Gayline:

"When I turned twenty-one, my dad wrote me a letter filled with fatherly advice. One statement stood out: "Find men that you want to be like and then sit at their feet" (24-25).

Brooke:

"God is different from you and me. He is utterly different. And that is utterly wonderful.

There is surprising comfort in the realization that God is so unlike you and me. The fact that he's not like us is the reason we can run to him for rescue.

.... God is not like us. He's strong. He's unchanging. His love is steadfast (Psalm 136:1). He is full of mercy. And he does what we would never do, what we would never imagine: he dies for his enemies... (Romans 5:8)" (45).

We'd love to know what stood out for you. Leave a comment and let us know!

Theology: Fuel for Worship

I can think great, glorious thoughts about God. But it would be just that...my thoughts about God.

And my thoughts are different from your thoughts which are different from your pastor's thoughts which are different from President Obama's thoughts; yet, they are all thoughts about 'God.' So we either agree to all have differing thoughts of who God is, or we look to who God says He is and conform our thoughts to His self-description.

God has revealed Himself to mankind in a special way--He speaks to us in a way we can understand. Without God's intervention, mankind would be aware of a 'Creator Being' (Rom. 1), but would be clueless as to what this Creator is like, what the purpose of creation is, and what the Creator expects out of His creation. God thinks that a correct understanding of who He is is important; therefore, it is really important.

For God's glory, for His name's sake, and for our fullest joy, let us behold our Creator, who has revealed Himself to us in word. The Scriptures are where we look to meet God.

Theology is fuel for worship. The more you learn about who God is and what He is like, the more you see Him for who He really is. Result: worship, rejoice, repeat. We will never 'come to the end' of knowledge of God's person and character because He is an Infinite Being and we are finite creatures.

We have eternity to chase down the glory of God. This eternal pursuit begins when we are born again. Why wait to taste of the beauty of God? Why put off the glories of heaven when we can partake, though imperfectly, here and now? Or do we think that it is all for 'later'... Listen to the great theologian/worshipper, John Owen, speak on the folly of 'saving God for heaven:'

No man shall ever behold the glory of Christ by sight hereafter, who does not in some measure behold it by faith here in this world. Grace is a necessary preparation for glory, and faith for sight.

Most men will say with confidence, living and dying, that they desire to be with Christ, and to behold his glory; but they can give no reason why they should desire any such thing only they think it somewhat that is better than to be in that evil condition which otherwise they must be cast into for ever, when they can be here no more. And the pretended desires of many to behold the glory of Christ in heaven, who have no view of it by faith whilst they are here in this world, are nothing but self-deceiving imaginations.

(John Owen, The Glory of Christ, Christian Heritage, pp. 43-45.)

Theology leads us into true and proper and passionate worship of the One True God.

When you're getting to know someone--what they're like, their likes and dislikes, etc.--you don't value the facts themselves; rather, you treasure the person and the intimacy that comes with learning about them and who they are.

That's why I love theology--it helps me draw closer to God.

Theology: Grace and Parenting

I'm going to do my best to combine a few things that have been flying around in my mind lately. I think there's a connection that I just came to this morning, and hopefully I can communicate it well to you all.

As we've seen already in Dug Down Deep, it's important that the things about God we claim to know and trust must be the right things--reality--or we're lost. We must get our thoughts about God right before we can step forward and live our lives based on those truths.

One of the greatest tenets of theology (knowledge of God) is God's grace. Without it, we're doomed in the face of another tenet of theology: God's holiness.

But what is the truth about the grace of God we should be holding on to? We talk about grace a lot at TFC but are you sure you know what it really means? Here are four quick things to keep in mind when pondering the grace of God:

1. The moral ill-desert of man. [We are] creatures fallen from God's image, rebels against God's rule, guilty and unclean in God's sight, fit only for God's condemnation, never enters their heads.

2. The retributive justice of God. God is the Judge of all the earth, and he will do right, vindicating the innocent, if such there be, but punishing (in the Bible phrase visiting their sins upon lawbreakers (see Gen 18:25). God is not true to himself [his holiness] unless he punishes sin.

3. The spiritual impotence of man. To mend our own relationship with God, regaining God's favor after having once lost it, is beyond the power of any one of us.

4. The sovereign freedom of God. Grace is free, in the sense of being self-originated and of proceeding from One who was free not to be gracious. [It must be] seen that what decides each individual's destiny is whether or not God resolves to save him from his sins, and that this is a decision which God need not make in any single case.

(excerpts from Knowing God, J.I. Packer, pp. 129-132)

What does this have to do with parenting?

About a month ago, we had a parenting seminar here at TFC. One of the biggest things that stuck out to me were the "gospel centeredness" and "prayerful dependence" foundations of Biblical parenting. Tim Shorey defined them as such:

Gospel centeredness: Christian parents need the gospel as the covering for all their parenting failures and as the content for all their many parenting efforts.

Prayerful dependence: Christian parenting is not a formula or pill; it is a humble effort to teach, train, and raise our children by God's means in total, desperate, prayerful reliance on God's grace.

He went on to say that there is no other position resulting in so much guilt, suffering, condemnation, and failure as that of a parent. Thank God for the gospel which covers me with grace! And in the case of parenting, A+B (Christian parents using the Biblical method of parenting) does not equal C (Christian child). Only God's grace makes C.

If we had no correct concept of the grace of God, we would have no hope for our everyday shortcomings as parents. We would also have no hope for the everyday shortcomings of our children.

This morning I came to see that in the face of my son's and my own daily shortcomings, I need to be constantly reminded of the reality of the grace of God. How did I come to see this? Well, for no apparent reason (not teething, not sick), my son was up five times last night. Needless to say, last night I was not a happy mom, and honestly I don't think I was a kind mom. I did pray through it. And this morning when we got up to begin the day, God's grace covered my failures. I set last night aside. I did not harbor resentment towards him for the prior night's sleep--or lack thereof. My son is a child, and he will act like a child as long as he is one. There is grace in that. Only grace.

Thanks be to God that though we were willful rebels of his way with no ability to make amends, he chose to set the judgment that we deserved on his only Son so that he could then extend his grace to his chosen people.

Oh, that this might be the grace I remember.

What about you?

Theology: living out your conclusions

Are we theologians?

Yes, every single one of us. Most people are. We think about God, reason ourselves to conclusions, and then live according to those conclusions. So to put it simply, I believe in God, the Almighty Father, the Maker of heaven and earth. If God made heaven and earth, then He made me and has perfect authority over my life. If God has authority over my life, then nothing can happen to me apart from His will. Based on this conclusion, I will live serenely and obediently, trusting in Him.

But you know that doesn't always happen, don't you? Life happens, and we forget the really good theology we knew and revert right back into panic mode. Or superwoman mode. Or depressed or indulgent or hyper or careless or crabby or gossiping or worshiping-the-idol-of-self mode. I'm allowed to react and live in this way because--fill in the blank with your own excuse. Only it's not just an excuse--it's bad theology. It is living out a conclusion, based on reasoning, based on the premise of a not very powerful, not very wise, not very good, not very loving God.

When things surprise you--when the coffee spills, the test comes back negative, or the car won't start--are you theologically aware of the battle raging around you? Are we soldiers in the army of the victorious, glorious King, or are we on the couch refueling with a pep-talk from Oprah? If there's one thing we girls are good at, it's talking. We can talk up one side of our problems and down the other and somehow never change. It's a symptom, and I'm a little afraid of the disease. If I were as obsessed with God as I am with myself, I would never lose sight of His sovereign goodness. Yet somehow problems, stupid vain earthly problems, distract me. Read what one of my favorite theologians has to say about this spirit of self-preoccupation:

"Life is full of things we can't do anything about, but which we are supposed to do something with. He himself endured a cross and thought nothing of its shame because of the joy (see Heb.2:2). A very different story from the one which would have been written if Jesus had been prompted by the spirit of our own age: Don't just endure the cross--think about it, talk about it, share it, express your gut-level feelings, get in touch with yourself, find out who you are, define the problem, analyze it, get counseling, get the experts' opinions, discuss solutions, work through it. Jesus endured. He thought nothing of the shame. The freedom, the freshness of that valiant selflessness is like a strong wind. How badly such a wind is needed to sweep away the pollution of our self-preoccupation!"

Elisabeth Elliot, Love Has a Price Tag, "The Trail to Shandia," p.85-88

Happily Ever After

"Theology - the science of living blessed forever" (William Perkins).

Thanks for joining me as we continue to take baby steps in our study of the Titus 2 woman. I know there are those who are anxious to know what to "do" and I appreciate that. But before we "do" anything we must be clear about why we are doing it.

Recently my sister went to the Princess Diana exhibit which is presently touring our country. What met her and captured her attention immediately was Diana's silver and gold, diamond-laced crown, which was prominently displayed. In addition to that, there were other pieces of Diana's jewelry including a necklace with 46 diamonds! What added to the beauty of these royal jewels was the lighting that was cast upon them. The angles at which the lights were skillfully placed allowed onlookers to see every colorful facet of every gem. It was easy for me to see the impression this exhibit had on Jaynee as her own eyes sparkled as she described her experience there.

As beautiful as the jewels and gowns were, the rest of the exhibit displayed another beauty: Diana's humanitarian work (for which she is most famous). During her life she spent much time visiting and helping patients with AIDS, cancer and leprosy. In a real sense she used her royal position well. Sadly though, for this princess there was not a "happily ever after" ending to her life. Her marriage and personal life fell to ruins. Despite that, for generations to come, Diana's jewels, gowns, and other memorabilia will be displayed and thousands will look and remember the best about her.

Ladies, if we have been saved from our sins and the wrath of God through the sacrifice of Christ, we are no longer enemies of God nor are we common women. We are now adopted daughters of the most Sovereign One. As part of God's royal family (the church) God considers us the jewels in His crown to be displayed for all the world to see (Zechariah 9:16; Isaiah 62:3). Our lives proclaim (testify, give attention to) Christ our Savior. And, like the lighting at the Princess Diana exhibit, our good works cast a beautiful light upon the Gospel. This is what it means to "glorify God" (to reveal or make clearer the glory of God by ones actions). People watch as we live our lives in joyful obedience to our God of grace. Though unbelievers may not always admit it, when they see a woman joyfully fulfilling her God-given purpose, the unbeliever is impacted (at some level) by her beauty and her strength.

The opposite is true too. When we do not live according to the clear teaching of God found in the Bible, we make a mess of things. The world sees this as well and they have cause to snicker, mock, and disdain God, God's word, and our profession of faith. To use Paul's words in the book of Titus, God's word is reviled (Titus 2:5).

Have you been impacted as you've observed a woman graciously living out God's design for womanhood? Did it cause you to think more deeply on God, the Gospel and His wonderful plan for manhood and womanhood? It isn't easy thing living the Titus 2 way, or the Proverbs 31 way. But it is good. It works. It is most beautiful. And it is what God requires (Ephesians 2:8,9,10).

It is only when we experientially live in the joy of Ephesians 2:8-9 we will give ourselves to the good works of verse 10. This is theology: the science of living blessed (happily) forever.

On the Lighter Side: Valentine's Edition

This is a hilarious minute and a half video that targets modern Christian thoughts about being a Christian single. I hope you all watch and enjoy it, and then I'd love to hear if it challenges you (whether you're single or married) to think differently. For example, as a single, does your inner motivation match your outer behavior? Or, as a married woman, do you feign contentment about something else? All of us, does our interaction with each other go beyond religious cliches and metaphors? Think about it and share!

The Plan

Since we had to delay the start of our "cyber reading club" due to the mountains of snow here in NJ, I thought I'd take what was supposed to be our first What Are You Reading? post to review how this is going to work.

It's really simple: read the book for 15 minutes a day.

It will put all of us at slightly different places in the book, but in a week's time we'll have covered a lot of the same ground. Jot down any thoughts or questions you have as you go along. You never know when we might just ask for everyone's favorite quote of the week. Or if we'll ask you to submit questions during the week and pick one to answer. As soon as you're done with the book, pick up the next one on the list (in the right hand column). Sound good?

I know several of us still need to snag the book from the TFC bookstore this Sunday. If you're not local to TFC, I'm sure you can find a copy of Dug Down Deep at your nearest bookstore.

I, for one, am really looking forward to getting started on Monday. Happy reading!

Grace to persevere

Today our RMMR reading took us back to Matthew 1. I thought it would be interesting to look for a connection between the women mentioned in the genealogy and the Proverbs 31 woman.

There are 5 women whose names appear in the genealogy of the Messiah, an unheard of number in such a patriarchal society. Note who these women were: Tamar was seductively manipulative; Rahab was a liar and a prostitute; Ruth was out of her element in a foreign land with a foreign people; Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, was an adulterer; Mary, though a virgin, became pregnant, and faced divorce, abandonment, and even death by stoning.

Quite a motley crew for a discussion about virtuous women.

Honesty I find it a little frustrating that we don't know the rest of the story for all of these women. We don't know whether Tamar or Bathsheba were repentant for their actions. We don't know whether Rahab's encounter with the Israelites changed her heart. But we do know that there was at least one redeeming quality to each of these stories: God used them to bring about the birth of His Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.

In a chapter on wisdom in Knowing God, J.I. Packer says "wisdom is not the ability to discern the real purpose of everything that has happened to me, nor is it having clarity at every moment how God is making all things work together for good." But it is clear that there is one thing we do know. God does work all things together for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

I think it's important to remember this in our pursuit of Proverbs 31-ness. We will fall short at times. We will not always be able to see how what we perceive as failures on our part will be used to keep us moving along the path to these desired qualities. But God gives grace to the humble. When we trust Him and fear Him (as Robin said yesterday), He gives grace for us to get through.

God doesn't ask us to do something or be something and then leave us out in the cold. All of us believing women have everything we need to attain to the virtues of Proverbs 31.

Keep trusting in God's grace. Keep confessing when you mess up or fall short. Keep moving your feet. Keep your eyes on the goal and the One who is getting you there.

A Woman Who Fears the Lord

I was blessed beyond words to have a virtuous mother. This isn't a truth that has come to me in hindsight. I knew from my earliest days that Mom was the best woman I had ever met (and you can ask my siblings, and they'll tell you the same thing). We adored her. Other people picked up on it, too, as I remember her spending hours upon hours on the phone and at the church helping other women. God graciously has given us a great blessing through the use of technology--we have four recordings of her speaking at different women's retreats, and they are packed full of what John Piper would call Christian Hedonism.

So allow me to share a brief look into the life of a Christian hedonist (I think Mom would have approved of that title!) by sharing with you some of her words--words that were backed up by the life she lived and by the death she died.

Mom suffered from panic attacks when we children were very young. The Lord, through His Spirit and the Word, gave her eventual victory over her anxiety and fear. The spiritual lessons sunk deeply and she later rejoiced over God having lovingly prepared her for far harder testings of her faith. This is what she said in a lesson on Moses' mother, Jochabed:

In Hebrews it talks about, they hid Moses, they received the dead back again, they also were sawn in two, they also suffered persecution. But that was all through faith because we are trusting that God is going to be glorified. Really, that should be our goal, not that we have an easy life, but that God is glorified. And if it takes a tough circumstance to do it, like Job said, 'Naked I came, naked I return; blessed be the name of the Lord.'

We can trust Him in tough circumstances because...God is our only circumstance. He's the only thing that really matters. So if we are women of the Word, we will not be easily shaken.

Mom not only said these things, she lived them. Years later when suffering through cancer, she traced the hand of God in teaching her to rely on Him before putting her through this great trial. She lived these truths, and then she died with these truths giving her life a sweetness that transcended her "rotten" (her word) circumstances.

During her cancer treatment, Mom said the following:

My portion is not here. My inheritance is not in this world. The longest you can live, maybe a hundred years, is a second and then you're gone. And then what do you have? My portion is the Lord God for eternity--I have Him and that's what's true!

Knowing these truths is how we can look at our failing body, our hurting relationships, our tough circumstances and not be swayed because we choose to stand on the truth that God is Who He says He is and All that He says He is.

You may be asking, 'What does all of this have to do with the Proverbs 31 woman?' Well, I'm arguing that the 'virtuous woman' is not about all of the skills and giftings she has, but the heart that motivates her to 'do life' in the way that she does.

It's not the 'stuff' that we do. It's not the Bible study groups we go to, it's not the Sunday School we teach, it's not the nice things that we do or the right things that we do, but really it's the inward heart. See, the Pharisees did those things. They followed the Law and they missed it!...We're not just trying to conform our lives to make ourselves look like we're obedient. We need to become obedient. We need to be walking in the newness of life--to be transformed.

Remember, He said,'He who has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me.' The goal here is to love Jesus more and more, not to stack up, 'Well, I do this and this and this, etc. No, the call is love for Jesus--to love Him! Not like the Pharisees--the Pharisees had all this stuff, but they had no love. They still had their sin in their heart.... The whole desire of God is that we grow close to Him and in love toward Him and that we show that love by obedience.

We can become good homemakers, businesswomen, etc., but so can the world. What makes the virtuous woman unique? She fears the Lord. Her reverence and love for God colors everything she does.

If we love the Lord and are being transformed, day by day, into His image, we WILL become virtuous women. There is no secret, no tricks, no special personality. All of the virtuous women in history (representing every culture, personality, talent, age, status, etc.) have a common foundation--they feared God.

A young lady in New Haven

We're finishing up Proverbs this week on the RMMR schedule, and you had to know that we couldn't pass up the opportunity of pouncing all over the Proverbs 31 Woman. So let me put her on a pedestal before you and command you to be like her. Isn't that helpful? Don't you feel encouraged?

In one way or another, I'm going to fall short of the proverbial example, and I'm unspeakably thankful that God adopts me because of Christ's reconciling righteousness, not because of how well I measure up to nameless perfection. However, knowing that my justification is not based on my works, it is still a good (and required) thing to persevere in becoming the lovely, the trustworthy, the proverbial Proverbs 31 Woman. To encourage all of us on our pilgrimage, we thought to put before you the examples of several woman who exampled what it meant to strive after righteousness, keeping in mind that when you find someone you want to be like, you do what they do.

--

"They say there is a young lady in [New-Haven] who is loved of that Great Being, who made and rules the world," wrote Jonathan Edwards about thirteen-year old Sarah Pierrepont. Several years later Jonathan and Sarah would marry. Their marriage lasted thirty-one years until his death, during which they had eleven children, several of whom died young.

Sarah Edwards was a remarkable woman, and three paragraphs cannot suffice to give her biography. So I would point you here, here, and here (second paragraph in) for further in-depth and fascinating reading.

She was self-controlled, yet passionate about Christ. She prayed for her husband and children. She managed her husband's household, leaving him free to dedicate himself solely to his labors. She hosted frequent guests. She traveled. She was a wife. She was a widow. She had babies. She saw daughters married. She saw daughters buried. Her husband was the dearly respected leader. Her husband was fired. She was "afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies." (2 Cor. 4:8-11)

My first instinct is to think that she was a freak of nature, one of those people that God just gifts, an 18th century female Apostle Paul. I'm pretty sure that's mostly lazy excuse-making on my part. If Rachael Ray were my hero, I would cook a lot, travel to restaurants, wear a certain style of clothes, have cute catch-phrases, and so on. I would want to be like her. Sarah Edwards is imitable, too--she cried and cried to God for His Spirit, and He answered her. We must not allow ourselves cowed by her legacy. She might seem to be perfect in the written records of her descendants--she wasn't. She trusted a mighty, powerful, good God, who is just as attentive to our souls' cries as He was to hers. If we seek him, He will be found. If we cry to Him, He will answer. Let's follow her example.

Beauty and the Beast

As we spend time in Titus 2 it is my prayer that you will come to see the breathtaking beauty of God's design for women. But the beauty I speak of is a beauty which is not of ourselves. By God's grace we are not like the feminist of the 60s who brashly shouted, "I am woman hear me roar" Or the "third wave" feminist of the 90s who (to this day) have as their goal not equality with men but rather dominance over men. Somehow these women seem to miss the fact that their tone and manner lacks beauty (or maybe that is precisely what they desire). Neither are we desperately grasping for men's attention with every diet, exercise and beauty tip that comes down the pike.

The beauty of which I speak is the beauty that comes from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we are to rightly understand God's design for us we must first embrace the Gospel given to us. This is foundational. Without the Gospel all our efforts are worthless before God and will seem pointless to us. And so, as we proceed in the weeks and months ahead you will often hear us referring back to the Gospel for this is our only hope for eternal life and true living today.

The book of Titus is only 46 verses long. It can easily be read in 10 minutes. Within those verses there are 6 uses of the word Savior and 4 times Jesus Christ is mentioned. Salvation words like: justified, grace, mercy, hope, redeemed, washed, etc. permeate the 3 short chapters (another 10 times). That totals 24 references to God's saving mercy in 46 verses. Why is this? I believe it is so that as we read Paul's words for how we are to live our lives, we will not wander into moralism or legalism. Also,the repeated reference to the Gospel gives us powerful motivation for Titus 2 living. Though God's ways are good, they are not always easy. And so we see, the Gospel not only makes us beautiful, it also gives us the motivation to live beautifully.

When I was 10 I was a verbal bully. I was extremely mean to people I was jealous of, or just didn't like. Imagine I lived in a town that was governed by a very righteous judge. Everyone in my town was well cared for. But I did not appreciate that care and was indifferent to this judge and his family. One day I verbally abused a kid in my school. Others heard me and reported me. I was brought before the judge. Turns out, the kid was the son of the judge. Turns out it was the judge's only son. The judge told me the penalty for this kind of abuse was death. I was guilty and sentenced.

The judge and his son spoke to one another, then the son approached me and told me, "I know what you did against me. I know you deserve to die. I want you to know I forgive you. I want you to go free. So here's what we are going to do. My father and I have agreed that I will take your punishment. The crime you committed will be my crime. I will die in your place. My father has always loved you and knew this day would eventually come. He now stands ready to adopt you and to bring you into his loving care. The details have all been worked out. All that is mine is yours.

And so the son, the one I had sinned against was sentenced and died in my place. And just as the son had promised, the father gave me everything that belonged to his son.

That seems too good to be true doesn't it? Well, the part of the story that is true is that I (the beast) really was a verbal bully and worse. But it wasn't only a classmate I sinned against. In truth it was against a Holy God (Beauty). I'm sure you can connect the dots and understand how excited I get when I think about the Gospel. I do not have to look back to when I was 10 years old to see sin in need of Christ's forgiveness. Every day I (the beast) return to the cross (Beauty) where I find mercy and grace to help me (the beast) in my battle against my pride, self-righteousness, lurking anger and more.

Do you see yourself in the book of Titus? And do you see your Savior? What does this do for you? It makes me exclaim along with Paul the excellencies of Christ in Ephesians 1:3-14, and humbly pray along with Mary, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38).

Postponed

In light of the fact WBD readers from TFC won't be able to get our first book, Dug Down Deep, from the bookstore today since church is cancelled, we'll have to postpone our first day of reading to next Monday, February 15.

On the Lighter Side

We interrupt this regularly scheduled program on its first installment to bring you something completely different. In preparation for tomorrow's Super Bowl, we'd like to offer an article in praise of the "Tim Tebow ad," oddly enough written by a pro-choice woman named Sally Jenkins. Here's a snippet:

I'm pro-choice, and Tebow clearly is not. But based on what I've heard in the past week, I'll take his side against the group-think, elitism and condescension of the "National Organization of Fewer and Fewer Women All The Time." For one thing, Tebow seems smarter than they do.

Tebow's 30-second ad hasn't even run yet, but it already has provoked "The National Organization for Women Who Only Think Like Us" to reveal something important about themselves: They aren't actually "pro-choice" so much as they are pro-abortion. Pam Tebow has a genuine pro-choice story to tell. She got pregnant in 1987, post-Roe v. Wade, and while on a Christian mission in the Philippines, she contracted a tropical ailment. Doctors advised her the pregnancy could be dangerous, but she exercised her freedom of choice and now, 20-some years later, the outcome of that choice is her beauteous Heisman Trophy winner son, a chaste, proselytizing evangelical.

...Tebow's ad, by the way, never mentions abortion; like the player himself, it's apparently soft-spoken. It simply has the theme "Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life." This is what NOW has labeled "extraordinarily offensive and demeaning." But if there is any demeaning here, it's coming from NOW, via the suggestion that these aren't real questions, and that we as a Super Bowl audience are too stupid or too disinterested to handle them on game day.

You can read the article in its entirety here.

Feminist Confessions: 1) I hate men! 2) I want to be one.

In 21st-century America, women are told that the way to freedom is to gain authority over men in the home and the workplace, to freely and openly express their sexuality, and to abandon the 'oppressive' duties of motherhood.

So I want to know...has this promise of freedom and happiness delivered???

No. It never will. Just like the Victorian ideal, the Shakespearean notion, and the Grecian 'goddess' mentality, all failed to deliver on their promises to women. Same lie, different twist.

The problem is not one of gender, but one of sin. And the problem is not a modern one; rather, it is an ancient one which began with the very first husband and wife.

Let's go back to the Garden of Eden. There was a man and there was a woman. They were both made in the image of God. They were both assigned duties and responsibilities. They both enjoyed communion with God. They were perfectly happy with life and with each other.

John Piper elaborates:

This is the way God meant it to be before there was any sin in the world: sinless man, full of love, in his tender, strong, moral leadership in relation to woman; and sinless woman, full of love, in her joyful, responsive support for man's leadership. No belittling from the man, no groveling from the woman. Two intelligent, humble, God-entranced beings living out, in beautiful harmony, their unique and different responsibilities.

Now Satan knows that this is a beautiful arrangement. He knows that God's pattern of life is designed for man's good. But Satan hates God and he hates man. He is a liar and a killer from the beginning.

Why did he approach the woman in Genesis 3:1? Why did he draw her into discussion first and make her the spokesman for the couple? Why did he lure her into being the moral guardian of the garden? Was it because she was easier prey? Is woman more gullible than man? Or could the answer be: Satan drew the woman in first, and made her the spokesman and the moral guardian, because that is exactly what should not have been done? And Satan laughs to himself and says, "Now I have created such a confusion of roles they will never sort this out... they will never get to the root of the problem."

But in Genesis 3:17 God goes right to the root of the problem. He says to the man, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, 'You shall not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you." In other words, "Adam, you were listening when you should have been leading." God is not confused about what Satan did.

And he doesn't want us to be confused either. He created man first; he gave him the moral pattern of the garden first; he held him accountable for failure first; and he punished him for falling right in line with God's archenemy when Satan lured man and woman into a great role reversal at the fall.

Femininity has been out of sync since the Fall. In God's curse upon Eve, He declares that she (and all her offspring) will desire the authority of man (Gen. 3:16). Has it not proven to be our curse!!

Women struggle with the nature of womanhood because of sin... our sin. Our sin.

I am not happy with the nature and role of womanhood, not because of its inherent nature and role, but because my sin nature rebels against and hates God's design.

If your definition of being a truly happy, free, unoppressed, unopposed person is spelled M-A-N, you have believed the lie. The lie that God's design is stifling, chauvinistic, repressive... He is a 'He,' isn't He?... He doesn't care about women. He made them as an after-thought. He kept all the desirable human functions for men. He watches women be crushed and repressed and dismissed by men without a care...

LIES.

We must do what we do with all sin that the Spirit lovingly convicts us of: repent.

Perhaps we might commit to practice the following:
1) Rejoice in the fact that God created me as an image-bearer of Himself. This ensures that I am an eternal soul with unspeakable dignity, worth, and value.

2) Confess my sin of unbelief in the wisdom of God in creating men and women with distinguishable roles and His goodness in doing so for His glory and my joy.

3) Determine to a) fill my mind with God's perspective and truth and b) avoid any and all environments, relationships, television programs, books, magazines, music, hobbies, education, clothing, and any other thing that attacks the Biblical understanding of womanhood. (This is understood to be in the spirit of a 1 Cor. 5 'purging from among us,' not a call to cut ourselves off from unbelievers. We will inevitably be 'in' the world...but we must not be 'of' the world.)

I am self-deceived and blind. God is perfectly wise and perfectly good. If my perceptions, feelings, and inclinations oppose what God says, I must, MUST repent of my unbelief and trust Him Who loves me. And God's love is manifested in this way: He sent His Son to bear my sin.

The answer is not that Christ sets us free from the bondage of womanhood. Christ sets us free from the bondage of sin, enabling us to love and live in the way God designed us to be.

Let us ponder the glory of Christ more and the difficulties of womanhood less. For one is eternal and the other temporal. I think we will find that the latter fades into the distance as the former comes into view.

Anything you can do, I can do better!!

Anything you can do,
I can do better.
I can do anything
Better than you!

I always liked being a girl. I also liked coming in first place, and I liked coming in first place as a girl. In high school I played more than my share of pranks, and I enjoyed never even being suspected because I was a good girl. As a girl I enjoyed winning back-to-back championships; don't even ask how bad the boys' basketball team was. In college I was a Criminal Justice major, which meant that as a girl, I was in a teeny-tiny minority. I enjoyed listening to a hundred beefy guys all around me brag on themselves for four years, knowing full well my private intention of graduating first in the class. And I did. In high heels. Anything you can do, I can do better.

Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

The modern feminist movement wants us to enjoy and exploit our cleverness. We are supposed to think and act in a way that shows our ability to, as girls, out-smart, out-run, out-work, out-hustle the guys, and to do it all with ease, grinding their faces into the dirt with our Italian pink silk high heels.

The truth is, that is all disgusting pride. God designed us as women to share certain characteristics and traits, which is a good and appropriate thing. But before we start excusing our feminist behavior as natural, let's investigate to the motives beneath our behavior. Does self-sufficient pride lead to conceit and vanity? Does pride lead to a general belief in the incompetency of man? Does pride lead to a loud, abrasive, "I can do anything better than you! Yes, I can, YES, I CAN!!"

Our big pile of accomplishments, carefully and lovingly and angrily accumulated in our own cleverness and wiles, is our own indictment. And the judgment? "If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned."

Ladies, some of us, and I'm the biggest one here, have inner-feminists. This isn't the holy fruit that God intends us to bear; it's the result of carefully-nurtured pride. Left to ourselves, we will bring forth pride and conceit and vanity and death. The only solution is to look to Jesus: "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me."

May God gives us much grace and enable us to bring forth much fruit and prove to be His disciples, women who intentionally and perseveringly live according to HIS design! (John 15:1-8)

Women By Design

For a long time I struggled with being a girl.

I had an older brother and wanted to do everything he did. I played with G.I. Joes, Legos, Micro Machines, etc. I climbed trees, played t-ball, took karate instead of tap dancing, and would have joined the Boy Scouts if they'd let me.

Don't get me wrong, I did play with my fair share of girl's toys: mini-kitchens, Barbie, and Cabbage Patch Dolls. But I always played with the Ken doll and my Cabbage Patch Doll was a boy. Truth be told, my Nana tried to give me a girl doll and I told her I didn't want it.

My parents had their hands full to say the least.

Honestly, at that age, I don't know that it was any big deal, and I don't really remember what my motivations were or where my heart was. I think it really might have been as innocent as just wanting to be like my older brother, my only sibling. There's certainly nothing wrong with girls playing with Legos and Ken dolls!

But there was always a lurking uncomfortableness with femininity all the way into my college years. It wasn't until after college that I really started to see that God made me female for a reason, and that that isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's a special blessing bestowed upon about 50% of the world's population, and it comes with its own set of strengths and weaknesses, emotions and thought-processes, victories and downfalls.

In today's culture, it's really no wonder to me that so many girls have a distorted view of their femininity. Between the TV commercials, the billboards, and the magazine covers on the racks at the grocery store, women are objectified. To be "accepted" as a female, they must look and act a certain way. They have to be tall enough, skinny enough, blonde enough, high-cheek-boned enough. More often than not, women "falling short" of these qualifications are only declared confident and powerful--a woman's woman--when they flaunt their femininity. They shove it in everyone's face like their provocativeness is the only asset they've got. Little do they know, they're feeding the machine and further objectifying women as eye-candy for the masses.

There are exceptions. We should be exceptions. We older women should be teaching the younger women (girls) that despite what the world says, there's nothing wrong with being female and it's definitely not something they should be afraid of or despair over. God made women as women for a purpose. He considers us no less worthy, no less important than He does men. He's even given men and women unique characteristics, personalities, emotions, thought-processes, etc. that perfectly complement one another.

Let's learn what those are, embrace them, and live them out as females by God's design.

Why Women by Design

Have you ever wished you were different? I've always wished I was taller. At age fifty-two I've pretty much come to accept the the fact that I stopped growing forty years ago. But even now there are times when I find myself wishing I was at least three inches over five feet (6' would be ideal). But it is pointless for me to imagine having long legs. I am 4'11 3/4" short because this is precisely God's design for me.

From the first days of life in the Garden of Eden until now women have chafed against God's plan for them, and have desperately tried to create a better way.

Sadly, women, like Eve, would rather believe a lie than submit to the truth. But in this blog, we want to boldly proclaim the truth of God's creative design; thus the name: Women By Design. While we want to be bold in our commitment to God's word, we at the same time want to humbly plead for God's grace to help us embrace this truth with joyful obedience for the glory of God.

How many of us, at one time or another have complained about womanhood? Beginning with the first menstrual cramps, to not being allowed to play on the boys' high school football team, to not getting the promotion we thought we deserved, to labor pains and staying at home with the children while hubby is at work enjoying lunches in restaurants with clients, to dealing with hot flashes in menopause, we have all at one time or another wished we were not female.

But if you believe God created this world and everything in it, then hopefully you will agree with me that it was created with a design (purpose). I was created female for a purpose. There is a sovereignly created design for my life. When I embrace my design I find joy and freedom, fulfillment and fruitfulness. When I resist my design there is envy, anger, frustration, and all manner of joy-deadening responses and actions. Worst than that, we are setting ourselves above God and accusing Him of making mistakes.

You turn things upside down! Shall the potter be regarded as the clay, that the thing made should say of its maker, "He did not make me"; or the thing formed say of him who formed it, "He has not understanding"? (Isaiah 29:16)

Commenting on this verse Martin Luther wrote:

It is as if the work should say of him that made it, "He made me not; I made myself." If God made us, he certainly knows us as the psalmist shows in Psalm 139:13-16: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them." Proverbs 16:4 also tells us, "The Lord has made everything for its purpose.."

Ladies, will you join me as we seek to grow in our understanding of how and why God made us female? We want to encourage each other to joyfully and passionately embrace our design and find God's blessing in it. I invite you to become a "Woman by Design;" a woman, who no matter what age or stage of life, will echo Samuel: "Speak Lord for your servant is listening," and know as Eli knew, "It is the LORD. Let him do what seems good to him."

We're back!

Hi there! Welcome to the new and improved Women By Design blog!

The WBD bloggers (Gayline, Brooke, Jenn, and Robin) have spent the last month praying, talking, planning, and yes, even doing a little redecorating. We hope you like it.

To kick things off, we'd like to give you a little preview of what you can expect here at the WBD blog for the month of February. First, we'd like you to notice the reading section in the right hand column. TFC's resident book worm, Bruce Bradford, has developed a WBD reading plan for 2010. Now, before you say "there's no way I could read all those books in 11 months!" let me give you a few stats.

The average person reads 250 words per minute. The average book has about 70,000 words in it. If the average person read for 15 minutes three times a day, that's 11,250 words per day. Multiply that by 7 days, and you've got 78,750. Yep, you read that right: that's one book per week. When I heard this at TFC's first PURSUE meeting this year, I couldn't help myself--I said "wow" out loud.

Granted, some of us would have a difficult time finding even three 15 minute slots per day, so we're going to tone it down a little bit. We're just asking for one 15 minute slot a day. At that rate, we should easily be able to cover one book per month. We're dedicating each Friday to talk about the book of the month, so make sure to tune in and let us know your insights and/or questions. First up: Dug Down Deep by Joshua Harris. You can purchase a copy at TFC's bookstore or online at Amazon. If you'd like to get at the TFC bookstore, you'll need to email Bruce by Tuesday morning. He'll have it for you on Sunday. We'll start reading on Monday, Feb 8 to give everyone a chance to grab the book.

Second, we're excited about some regular series we'll be doing. Most Mondays, Gayline will be taking us through the various exhortations in Titus 2:3-5. We'll also be offering our thoughts on the RMMR meditation passage at the end of each month. And you'll want to be sure to check in on Saturdays for our "on the lighter side" posts.

We hope you'll join us for the journey and share your thoughts along the way. Let's get started!