How to Love Your Sister Pt. 1

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.
Barbara Alpert

I get this exclamation a lot, from heavenlings and worldlings alike, that Robin and I are so close! I guess it's rare to see two relatively young* sisters get along so well. It saddens me to think that Robin and I are the exception to the rule, that so many sisters are missing out on the great gift that God has given them. So maybe as an encouragement, Robbie and I thought we would share a little bit about the grace God has given us to be able to overcome our natural enmity, because as we will both tell you, we weren't always close. In fact, we didn't even like each other.

We're only twenty months apart and so share many of the same experiences, which is not at all the same thing as experiencing the same thing.We have very different personalities, very different ways of thinking, and very different quirks--hence, mutual dislike and irritation. Except sisters are sneaky--because we couldn't avoid each other, we learned how to use and manipulate each other. Our relationship was a breeding ground of selfishness.

It wasn't totally bad. You wouldn't look at us and think that we hated each other. We got along tolerably well in public and even enjoyed each other's company--to an extent. I don't feel bad speaking for her, as we've repented about this to each other, but we both used each other. Robin had a car, which meant freedom for me. Robin was really shy, and I was bolder and willing to lead, which meant freedom for her. Privately, we fought over everything, and inflicted cruel words and acts upon each other. As time went on, I began to not know how to live without her--my entire selfish life was bound up in what I could get out of her, whether emotionally or financially.

So, we went off to college together and shared a tiny shoebox-sized room with a third person. That was fun, you betcha. Then we did it a second year. And we did get better, just through the natural maturing process. But our hearts were still selfish and we still used each other and we still fought.

Then everything changed. Through the teaching of one Bible professor on campus, the Holy Spirit began convicting my heart and stirring a desire for holiness in me. I saw my sin as I had never seen it before--my sin, not her sin. I saw my Savior as infinitely dear, infinitely precious, infinitely loving. All of the selfish motives for which I used my sister were revealed as idolatry. I wanted her to be as God to me, and when she failed, I despised her for it.

But once I saw Christ as supremely precious and gloriously sovereign, worthy of worship and adoration, I was freed to love my sister as a fellow creature and as a fellow heir in Christ.


And Robin will continue tomorrow!


*Just for the record, contrary to popular belief, I represent the younger half of this young duo.