Teach Your Children

Dear Sisters in Christ,

Brooke asked me to contribute a post on modesty. After giving this much thought and prayer I felt compelled to address the subject of modesty and little girls. There were many directions I could have chosen, such as modesty and sons (teaching them to respect women and teaching them to dress modestly themselves - which is a responsibility I've had for many many years). But that topic and other aspects of modesty will have to wait for a future time.

I am sure you will all agree with me that our culture places an inordinate emphasis on beauty. Join that with the message of building self-esteem and we get a culture of young girls who are bold, self-absorbed and immodest (inwardly and outwardly).

Compare that with how scripture describes a beautiful woman: "Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (1 Peter 3:3,4).

This verse is not telling us we cannot wear jewelry or braid our hair. If it was saying that, then it would also be saying we are not to put on clothing!! What this verse is telling us is that our clothing, hairstyle and jewelry, (nail polish, makeup, tattoes, etc) are not to be what we give our primary attention to. Neither is it to be what draws the attention of others.

The adornment that is valued by God is a gentle and quiet spirit. If it is valued by God, this should be where our values lie as well.

I will leave you now, with a series of questions, with very little comment. I hope and pray you will find these helpful:

- How well are you adorning your young daughters?

- Do you find yourself thinking overly much about your daughters' physical appearance?

- Are you as concerned to pray for your daughters' heart as you are concerned about their outward appearance?

- What do your daughters hear most from you? Words of praise for how pretty they look or words of praise when they demonstrate humility?

- Are you instructing your daughters in having a gentle and quiet spirit? Or are you unwittingly encouraging them to be bold and demanding of their own way and choices?

- Do your daughters observe in you a godly balance between adorning the outward and developing inward beauty? They learn by your example.

- Do your little girls wear styles that will have to change when they enter puberty (bikinis, short-shorts or halter tops or exposed bellies)? What may be worn innocently now may be difficult to change when they are teenagers.

- Most importantly, does your daughter understand (or at least hear you speak and demonstrate) the connection between pursuing modesty and developing a gentle and quiet spirit, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

- Do you share these convictions with your friends and find encouragement from other moms of daughters? "Let us consider how to spur one another on toward love and good works" (Hebrews 13:24).

I have a tremendous respect for the mothers of young girls. Yours is a very high calling. I hope that in some way this post further equips you for fulfilling your God-given responsibility to teach your daughters in the truths of God (Deut. 6:4-7).

With love,
Gayline