Memory

When I was little I loved playing the classic card game, Memory. I got great satisfaction out of remembering what cards were where when other kids couldn't. In school-age years, I could often remember where on the page a particular piece of information was, and thus correctly answer test questions. It's the way I'm wired.

1 Corinthians 4:5 says that love is not resentful. My Bible says that "resentful" could also be translated "does not count up wrongdoing." Love has a bad memory when it comes to things done against it. It's not that it doesn't choose to flip over the memory cards and see what's there. It throws the cards away. There is no place in love for a list of wrongs.

2 Corinthians 5:19 says that in Jesus Christ, love incarnate, "...God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation." It isn't that he doesn't count your trespasses against you because he doesn't know them. It's because he chooses not to remember them.

When we forgive someone for a particular offense, it means that we're never allowed to bring that offense up again. If we do, it means we've never truly forgiven. It means we've kept a record. It means we haven't loved.

Thanks be to God that in his perfect love, he has declared me righteous in his sight, never to remember my sins again. He has forgiven me and therefore my offenses are gone. They were laid on his Son, Jesus, in my place.

May this be what I remember next time I'm tempted to keep track of someone else's sin.

How is your memory?


Don't forget to enter our contest by leaving a comment on this post. If you'd like to order a copy of our next book, What's the Difference?, please make sure to email Bruce TODAY so he can have it for you on Sunday.

Calvary Love

The Bible's "love chapter" often reminds me of one of the greatest little treasures of a book, Amy Carmichael's If. She helps me expand the sentences, clauses, and phrases of 1 Corinthians 13 into real situations that demand "Calvary love." Here are four "Ifs" that illustrate our memory verse (1 Cor. 13:7), taken from our meditation passage (1 Cor. 13:4-8a) in the RMMR schedule.

Love bears all things.

If monotony tries me, and I cannot
           stand drudgery;
if stupid people fret me and little
           ruffles set me on edge;
if I make much of the trifles of life,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

 Love believes all things.

If I do not give a friend "the benefit of
           the doubt,"
        but put the worst construction
           instead of the best on what is
           said or done,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

 Love endures all things.

If I feel injured when another lays to
           my charge things that I know
           not,
        forgetting that my Sinless Saviour
           trod this path to the end,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

Love hopes all things.

If I do not look with eyes of hope on
           all in whom there is even a faint
           beginning,
        as our Lord did, when,
           just after His disciples had
           wrangled about which of them
           should be accounted the greatest,
        He softened His rebuke with those
           heart-melting words, "Ye are
           they which have continued with
           Me in My temptations,"
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

 "That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God."

Amy Carmichael, If (Christian Literature Crusade, Fort Washington: Pennsylvania, 1938), 27, 44, 47, 53, 78.


Don't forget to enter our contest by leaving a comment on this post. If you'd like to order a copy of our next book, What's the Difference?, please make sure to email Bruce by Wednesday so he can have it for you on Sunday.

The Best Kind of Progress

I am unable to fulfill my responsibility to you with a new Titus 2 post. Instead, since we are in the middle of discussing the OWC, I have copied a post from Girltalk by Carolyn Mahaney on the subject of menopause. This is just one in a series having to do with women's hormonal cycles and the emotional and spiritual struggles that can come with that. I highly recommend this series for your consideration. Here is one of the posts to get you started:

There are few times I feel less spiritual than when I face physical and hormonal challenges such as PMS and (now) menopause. I feel tired and irritable, my sin sometimes spilling over onto those around me.

My strategy has often been to try and wait it out. Once this is over, I tell myself, then I’ll get back to making progress in the Christian life. I forget that I am smack in the middle of God’s plan for my life! God has ordained these hormonal days along with all the others! Menopause isn’t simply a trial to get through. It’s an opportunity for testing faith and spiritual growth.

Elizabeth Prentiss beautifully expresses this point:

“God never place us in any position in which we can not grow. We may fancy that He does. We may fear we are so impeded by fretting, petty cares that we are gaining nothing; but when we are not sending any branches upward, we may be sending roots downward. Perhaps in the time of our humiliation, when everything seems a failure, we are making the best kind of progress.”

The best kind of progress. Far from precipitating a spiritual decline, we often grow more in these difficult seasons than when life is easy, and we feel like we’re flourishing (remember, those feelings can’t be trusted!)

That’s why the apostle Paul sees weakness as an opportunity for boasting in the Lord:

“But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

For the sake of Christ, we are to boast in our weaknesses, we are to be content in menopause or PMS or postpartum depression. For when we are weak, it is then that His power rests on us. What an opportunity!

Don't forget to enter our contest by leaving a comment on this post. If you'd like to order a copy of our next book, What's the Difference?, please make sure to email Bruce by Wednesday so he can have it for you on Sunday.

Contest #2

We've decided to do it again.

We're going to be giving away a copy of the next book on our reading list, John Piper's What's the Difference?.

All you have to do is leave a comment about how our current book, C.J. Mahaney's Living the Cross Centered Life, has impacted you.

We'll announce the winner next Saturday, so you have a whole week to leave your comment. We'd love to hear from you.


*Please note the contest is NOT limited to TFC members/attenders--it's open to all of our readers!

Living the Cross Centered Life (2)--One Day At A Time

Reading Living the Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney has been a refreshing 'splash' of grace on my soul. Chapters 10 and 11 were an extraordinary blessing to me and met me where I needed grace. Which chapters ministered to you???


It really struck me when C.J. says, "A cross centered life is made up of cross centered days" (p. 132).

Just like the growth of a child is imperceptible on a given day, but at the end of a year (or a month, like my 6'8" brother...) the growth is evident. So our spiritual progress cannot be measured every single day, but after periods of faithfully practicing the spiritual disciplines.

Mahaney has a short list of ways to help us stay cross-centered day after day: (pp. 133-145)

1) Memorize the Gospel
2) Pray the Gospel
3) Sing the Gospel
4) Review how the Gospel has changed you
5) Study the Gospel


I'm not espousing a do (a), get (b) methodology; rather, recognizing helpful advice--advice that has changed my spiritual walk for the better.

I have a box of 3x5 cards--verse on one side, reference on the other--to help me make memorizing Scripture a routine discipline. My lunch break at work is a perfect time to refresh myself in a good book (current read: The Glory of Christ by John Owen.....cannot recommend enough!). The more I meditate on the person and work of Jesus Christ, the more my prayers become cross-centered--my tongue releases the truths that are developed in my mind.

Any suggestions for how to incorporate more of 3) and 4) into my daily routine???

I would LOVE to hear what practices and disciplines have helped you in your spiritual walk.

Training for Godliness

Right around Easter-time last year, I wrote an entry called Running Well about the need for discipline in the life of a runner, both literally and spiritually. And now I'm back with a year's worth of further perspective.

I haven't run much since last April. There's this thing called Life, and it got in the way. A lot of good things of much higher priority came into my schedule; running went out. Probably not the best idea I've ever had, but that's life. But now I'm working exercise back into my routine, and I'm seeing spiritual lessons that I need to learn.

Like last year, I have two big thoughts.
1. We don't exercise once a month and think that it will suffice. We go to work to train muscles for endurance. A once-a-month workout won't make a lick of difference to anyone. Sometimes we think that we had a great experience in church, or we had a great quiet time and really engaged the Lord in prayer. It doesn't really matter if I have a full time tomorrow or pray every day. No, it does matter! The less we exercise, the harder it is and the less effective it is.We need to daily lace on our sneakers and go at it, or we'll be fooling ourselves.

2. The only way to build endurance is by keeping at it day after day after day, each day working harder than the day before. The point of exercise is not so that the workout will one day be easy, but so that you can tackle harder and harder workouts. We don't skim the Word and float through prayer in the hopes that someday we'll have so much wisdom and understanding that Christianity will all be really easy. We study and dig down deep so that more and more our minds and hearts will belong to Christ and will long for His appearing; and so that as we do grow in wisdom, we will be of more use in the establishing of His eternal kingdom.

If you put these things before the brothers, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, being trained in the words of the faith and of the good doctrine that you have followed. Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance. For to this end we toil and strive,because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe. (1 Tim. 4:6-10)

We're all in this together

Lately God has been teaching me that I can't do this alone.

I realized not long ago that I've kind of been drifting through life, always with some vague awareness of the sovereign reign of God and the support of others in the body, but rarely pursuing those things with vigor. It's not been the best course of action (or inaction?). God has been showing me a better way.

The first person I definitely can't do this without is God. Just within these past few weeks I've been changing around my schedule to make sure that most mornings I'm up before our son, cracking open my Bible and getting into the day's RMMR reading. It's not that I wasn't doing it before, it's just that it definitely wasn't as consistent, and rarely was it in the morning before things got going. Along with that I've been trying to do my 15 minutes of WBD blog reading then too. Does reading in the morning guarantee that I'll have a good day? Of course not. But it does mean that I'll have at least started out my thoughts with God, and I do know that He is faithful to redirect my focus back to His grace throughout the day.

The second "person" I can't do this without is others. One person is my husband. He married me because he loves me and because he wants to do life with me. So I need to let him into my life, and I'm beginning to understand that I haven't done that very well as of late. Next to God, he knows me best, and is therefore in the best position to help me.

Another "person" is friends. I've become increasingly aware of the need for at least one truly deep friendship within my peers. The kind of friendship where we actually talk to each other about what's going on in our lives, what we're struggling with, where we're seeing grace, and then actually remember that person in prayer, and follow up with where we're encouraged and where we're seeing growth.

A third person is a mentor, affectionately dubbed by Gayline as a member of the OWC. During a conversation in which I said, "I need someone to show me where I need to grow," a friend said, "you need a mentor." Within a week I had asked what I felt was a rather awkward question to one of the older women in the church--"would you mentor me?"--and was greeted with an enthusiastic response. I've never experienced this kind of relationship before, and though it's a bit on the scary side, it's something I'm definitely looking forward to.

I can't say that I've arrived. I can say that I'm learning and I think I'm growing. By the grace of God alone, may this new awareness bring lasting change and further my sanctification.

Rain Shouts of the Glory of God

I love rain. I love the smell, the sound, the look of rain. One of my favorite things about Spring is the thunderstorms that come with it!

Every time it rains, I think of Job 37-38--God blows me away with His sovereign reign over His creation. He did not just 'wind the clock' and let things go; no, He is actively sustaining the universe. Every storm, every drought, every individual raindrop is made by God and used for His wise purpose.

The snowflakes that fall on solitary mountain peaks and the spectacular thunderstorms that light up the dark recesses of the jungle with clashes of lightning and the brilliantly-colored sea creatures that thrive in the ocean's expansive depths--none of it is meaningless; all of it is glorious!

Perhaps some of you have read John Piper's article "The Great Work of God: Rain." I love it because it helps me see, in some small way, just what an amazing Creator our God is.

Is rain a great and unsearchable wonder wrought by God? Picture yourself as a farmer in the Near East, far from any lake or stream. A few wells keep the family and animals supplied with water. But if the crops are to grow and the family is to be fed from month to month, water has to come on the fields from another source. From where?

Well, the sky. The sky? Water will come out of the clear blue sky? Well, not exactly. Water will have to be carried in the sky from the Mediterranean Sea, over several hundred miles and then be poured out from the sky onto the fields. Carried? How much does it weigh? Well, if one inch of rain falls on one square mile of farmland during the night, that would be 27,878,400 cubic feet of water, which is 206,300,160 gallons, which is 1,650,501,280 pounds of water.

That's heavy. So how does it get up in the sky and stay up there if it's so heavy? Well, it gets up there by evaporation. Really? That's a nice word. What's it mean? It means that the water sort of stops being water for a while so it can go up and not down. I see. Then how does it get down? Well, condensation happens. What's that? The water starts becoming water again by gathering around little dust particles between .00001 and .0001 centimeters wide. That's small.

What about the salt? Salt? Yes, the Mediterranean Sea is salt water. That would kill the crops. What about the salt? Well, the salt has to be taken out. Oh. So the sky picks up a billion pounds of water from the sea and takes out the salt and then carries it for three hundred miles and then dumps it on the farm?

Well it doesn't dump it. If it dumped a billion pounds of water on the farm, the wheat would be crushed. So the sky dribbles the billion pounds water down in little drops. And they have to be big enough to fall for one mile or so without evaporating, and small enough to keep from crushing the wheat stalks.

How do all these microscopic specks of water that weigh a billion pounds get heavy enough to fall (if that's the way to ask the question)? Well, it's called coalescence. What's that? It means the specks of water start bumping into each other and join up and get bigger. And when they are big enough, they fall. Just like that? Well, not exactly, because they would just bounce off each other instead of joining up, if there were no electric field present. What? Never mind. Take my word for it.

I think, instead, I will just take Job's word for it. I still don't see why drops ever get to the ground, because if they start falling as soon as they are heavier than air, they would be too small not to evaporate on the way down, but if they wait to come down, what holds them up till they are big enough not to evaporate? Yes, I am sure there is a name for that too. But I am satisfied now that, by any name, this is a great and unsearchable thing that God has done. I think I should be thankful - lots more thankful than I am.

--John Piper

"Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain
and a way for the thunderbolt,
to bring rain on a land where no man is,
on the desert in which there is no man,
to satisfy the waste and desolate land,
and to make the ground sprout with grass?

Has the rain a father,
or who has begotten the drops of dew?
From whose womb did the ice come forth,
and who has given birth to the frost of heaven?
The waters become hard like stone,
and the face of the deep is frozen."

Job 38:25-30

The Time of our Lives

Thinking about the OWC (Older Women's Club) I recently saw this statement: "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!" I think this pretty much summarizes the spirit of the age. People of all ages are running from the responsibilities that attend their aging. Even a retirement community slogan reads, "this the time of your life to have the time of your life."

This approach to aging is antithetical to biblical teaching. We will see in coming weeks what are the responsibilities of older women but for today we will answer the question: Who is an "older woman"?

As we have said before, everyone is older than someone and can therefore be a teacher to someone, and everyone is younger than someone and therefore we all can learn from someone. But who, exactly, is Paul referring to in this passage? Is there a particular group of women that bears the greater responsibility to teach younger women?

I think it is women who have completed or are nearing completion of their childbearing and child rearing years. Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 5:9,10 that widows could be put on a list for receiving support from the church at the age of 60. A few verses later in that chapter Paul says that "younger widows [are to] marry, bear children, manage their households." So it seems there is a line of distinction made between younger and older based on their biological ability to bear children and manage them.

Believing women who are no longer having babies or raising those babies have experienced much in their life. They have experienced God, learned from His word, experienced the good of the Gospel in their sin, and witnessed God's promises to be true. They have lived through trials and joys, and seen God's sovereign hand in both. They have learned what is of greatest importance and are abiding in Christ. They have learned what are the best ways of home management, learned lessons in marriage and parenting. They are a rich source of spiritual and practical counsel. Also, women in this season of life have more time to spend with younger women because they are not so easily distracted by the demands of a young family.

And so, here is my question for the members of OWC: Are you ready to embrace the call of God for you in this season? Or is "growing up" still optional for you? Are you resisting the spirit of the age that insists we can now have "the time of our lives"? Or do you need to re-evaluate your preferences and priorities to allow you the freedom to fulfill your responsibilities in the OWC?

Actually, I do think we will have the time of our lives when we embrace our call as the older women of God. This is where we will find the great joy and blessing.

Living the Cross Centered Life (1)

What is the most important thing in your life? What is the one essential that you absolutely could not live without? Where does your mind go in your free moments? What does your mouth speak of when someone is listening? What is the one word that someone thinks of when they think of you? What is the one goal you are working for? What catches your interest and keeps your attention? What cause gets your most passionate work? What is the lens through which you view life and history? What gives you the greatest joy and contentment? What angers you? What motivates you? What, above all other things, has the priority?

These are a few of the questions with which CJ Mahaney begins Living the Cross Centered Life. I don't know about you, but that's intimidating to me. My honest answers are a little scattered--a hobby here, a talent there, a friend, a doctrine, a cause, a feeling, an experience. Mostly good things. But as one of Mahaney's friends says, "Take a good thing; make it a god-thing--that's a bad thing."

Mahaney writes on pages 14-15, "Nothing else--not even things that are biblical and honorable--are of equal or greater importance than this: God sent His Son to the cross to bear His wrath for sinners like you and me. If there's anything in life we should be passionate about, it's the gospel."

I'm excited to dig deeper into this book, not that the book will do anything in and of itself, but that God will use it to soften my heart and reveal to me my sin and draw me closer to Him.

If you don't have one already, I hope you pick up a copy of the book at the TFC bookstore on Sunday! Read fifteen minutes a day, and by God's grace we'll come out in the end more in love with Him than when we began.

Teach Your Children

Dear Sisters in Christ,

Brooke asked me to contribute a post on modesty. After giving this much thought and prayer I felt compelled to address the subject of modesty and little girls. There were many directions I could have chosen, such as modesty and sons (teaching them to respect women and teaching them to dress modestly themselves - which is a responsibility I've had for many many years). But that topic and other aspects of modesty will have to wait for a future time.

I am sure you will all agree with me that our culture places an inordinate emphasis on beauty. Join that with the message of building self-esteem and we get a culture of young girls who are bold, self-absorbed and immodest (inwardly and outwardly).

Compare that with how scripture describes a beautiful woman: "Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (1 Peter 3:3,4).

This verse is not telling us we cannot wear jewelry or braid our hair. If it was saying that, then it would also be saying we are not to put on clothing!! What this verse is telling us is that our clothing, hairstyle and jewelry, (nail polish, makeup, tattoes, etc) are not to be what we give our primary attention to. Neither is it to be what draws the attention of others.

The adornment that is valued by God is a gentle and quiet spirit. If it is valued by God, this should be where our values lie as well.

I will leave you now, with a series of questions, with very little comment. I hope and pray you will find these helpful:

- How well are you adorning your young daughters?

- Do you find yourself thinking overly much about your daughters' physical appearance?

- Are you as concerned to pray for your daughters' heart as you are concerned about their outward appearance?

- What do your daughters hear most from you? Words of praise for how pretty they look or words of praise when they demonstrate humility?

- Are you instructing your daughters in having a gentle and quiet spirit? Or are you unwittingly encouraging them to be bold and demanding of their own way and choices?

- Do your daughters observe in you a godly balance between adorning the outward and developing inward beauty? They learn by your example.

- Do your little girls wear styles that will have to change when they enter puberty (bikinis, short-shorts or halter tops or exposed bellies)? What may be worn innocently now may be difficult to change when they are teenagers.

- Most importantly, does your daughter understand (or at least hear you speak and demonstrate) the connection between pursuing modesty and developing a gentle and quiet spirit, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ?

- Do you share these convictions with your friends and find encouragement from other moms of daughters? "Let us consider how to spur one another on toward love and good works" (Hebrews 13:24).

I have a tremendous respect for the mothers of young girls. Yours is a very high calling. I hope that in some way this post further equips you for fulfilling your God-given responsibility to teach your daughters in the truths of God (Deut. 6:4-7).

With love,
Gayline

Helpful Modesty Resource

The most helpful resource I ever encountered on modesty: "The Soul of Modesty" by C.J. Mahaney. Go to Sovereigngraceministries.org--the sermon can be downloaded for free in the resource section.

A dear college friend directed me to this sermon--I will be forever grateful.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Getting Practical

"Perception is reality."

It's a phrase we hear often enough. How does it apply to modesty?

My perception of the appropriateness of a particular piece of clothing often becomes my reality. It's cute. It's in style. The color looks good on me. Really good. So that becomes enough for me.

I've learned it's best to have at least one other set of eyes check it out before it's a go. This is often my mom. She and I have developed quite a system and it makes shopping, well, a breeze. But as many of you know, my mom doesn't live around the corner, or even within driving distance. She's a plane ride away.

So I've also learned that I have to make reality come to life in an effort to override my perception if necessary. I think about the things that I do every day and the movements I make (I have a toddler, so there's a lot to think about!). Then I test out the clothing by doing those very things in the dressing room. I bend over. I raise my arms. I squat. I sit down. T-shirt, jeans, sweater, skirt, it doesn't matter--everything has to pass these tests or it doesn't come home with me.

It's not over when I leave the store. I get home and do the same thing again. The lighting is different, and there's a little more room to move around. And the ultimate safety valve is there: my husband. Not only is he another set of eyes, he's another set of eyes on a man. We all know that men and women see things differently. And when it comes to clothing, a man's perception is reality, whether we like it or not. Don't have a husband? Your dad or your brother or your son can fulfill this role for you.

Modesty takes a bit of work, but in the end it's worth it. We're loving our brothers in Christ when we take the time to dress appropriately. More importantly we're loving Christ. And he gets the glory.

And the winner is...

Leah! Congratulations on winning a copy of our next book: Living the Cross Centered Life. Catch up with Brooke on Sunday to claim your prize.

Hope to see more comments about the impact of Dug Down Deep even though the contest is over.

Thanks everyone!

The OWC

Do you get a little inward shudder when you read the words, "older women?" I never thought I would, but I do.

From my teen years well into my thirties I always wanted to look older. When I was a mother with 4 small children, people often thought I was their babysitter. I guess I should have taken this as a compliment but I didn't. I wanted to appear appropriately mature for the role and responsibilities that were mine. The last thing I wanted was to look like a teenager!!

I've learned that I must be careful what I wish for! My hair began greying in my early forties and now I am completely grey (or silver, as one son describes it: a silver crown).

It is time for me to recognize I have joined the OWC (Older Women Club). I do not mind "looking" old. What makes me drop to my knees is the attending responsibilities of membership in this time honored society of seasoned womanhood (but more on that in future posts). For now I want to ask you how you feel about the OWC?

Are you frightened by the thought of belonging to, or someday becoming a member of the OWC? If so, what do you fear?

Might it be the loss of youthful beauty: skin tone, muscle tone, loss of hair color? I find it interesting that where hair pigmentation is lost, skin color deepens, as spots appear and veins show through (the same son who told me I have a silver crown also affectionately said my hands look like raw turkey skin). I also am finding that hair thins where there should be hair, and it grows where it shouldn't!!

Might it be physical weakness or forgetfulness, or a host of age related infirmities? I can put a check mark by each of these.

Might it be the sense of loneliness that can come with aging, as the house is quieter and cleaner and you face empty nesting and the likelihood of becoming widowed.

Might it be a fear of feeling useless?

Might it be a fear of financial insecurity?

Might it be a fear of dying? not death itself, but the process of our "outer nature wasting away" (2 Cor. 4:16).

My dear sisters in Christ, we need not fear. The same God who led Sarah on a journey into the unknown with Abraham, and provided for Naomi in her old age and blessed elderly Anna for her service in the temple, is the same God we serve. These women were not very much different than we are. They were tempted to fear just as we are. Surely Sarah worried about giving birth in her 90s, and surely the widows in the early church wondered where their next meal was coming from. But God was with them and God provided for them.

Proverbs 31:25b tells us that the woman who fears the Lord, "laughs at the time to come." How can older women laugh at the time to come? It is by having a rock solid understanding of God's sovereign and personal care of us (Isaiah 43:1-3b). It is in reminding ourselves of all what Christ accomplished for us on the cross (He who did not spare His own Son, how will he not freely give us all things? [Romans 8:32]). And after that, by living according to His purpose for us. It is in the humble faith-filled living out of Proverbs 31, Titus 2, 1 Timothy 5, 1 Peter 3, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John through Revelation, we are promised the presence, protection and provision of God.

This is where we will find eternal meaning and a present fulfillment for our lives as older women.

Will you join the OWC? or at least learn what it is about? I feel humbled and honored that God would call me to join the ranks with charter members such as Sarah, Naomi, Anna, Eunice, Lois and the godly women still alive who are faithfully and humbly keeping their membership active. I hope you do as well.

Next week: membership age requirements!!

Our First Contest

Yep, you read that right: a contest.

How do you enter? It's simple: leave a comment and let us know how Dug Down Deep has impacted you.

The prize: a copy of our next book, Living the Cross Centered Life.

Already have the book? Don't fret. We'll reimburse you for the cost (if you just bought it) or we'll make sure you get a copy of the next book on the list that's not yet in your collection.

The winner will be selected randomly by numbered drawing, which is code for "we'll pick a number out of a hat."

We'll announce the winner on Monday night, and the clock starts... now!

So, go ahead, leave a comment. You might just win a book.

Dug Down Deep (4)

For our final post on Dug Down Deep, I'd like to cover the concepts discussed in chapters 7-11. If you missed the summary of chapters 3-6, you can check them out here.

We begin in chapter 7 with The Doctrine of Salvation.

Also known as redemption applied, or how Jesus' accomplishment (see chapters 5 and 6) connects to us and how it reaches and saves us. Our condition pre-salvation: "We are not just weak, we are spiritually lifeless, dead (Ephesians 2:1)" (p. 125). What happens during the salvation process?

1. Regeneration - What Jesus speaks of when he says "born again." It is "new life brought about by the work of God's Spirit" (p. 130). We cannot do this in ourselves.
2. Repentance - To turn away from something, renounce it.
3. Faith - Believing "that Jesus can forgive and, by his death, cleanse us from all our guilt" (p. 136).
4. Justification - Declared righteous, because Jesus is righteous. We are given new legal status--we are given Christ's righteousness, He is given our guilt.
5. Adoption - God makes us part of his family--his sons and daughters--and he becomes our Father.

Now what? Sanctification.

Sanctification is "the ongoing process of change that begins the moment a person is saved and continues until that person's last breath. Sanctification is the journey of becoming holy, becoming like God" (p. 149). It is not an optional endeavor, for by it we show we know and love Jesus--though it has nothing to do with earning salvation. "We are saved only by grace (Ephesians 2:8). But the way we live proves the reality of our salvation" (p. 151). In short, we have been changed with a new life, a new family, and in our status by the work of Christ; we are being changed through repentance and faith and sanctification; and we will be changed fully and forever at Jesus' return with new bodies free from sin.

However, we are still enticed by our old desires, what the Bible calls "the flesh" and what theology calls indwelling or remaining sin. "Jesus broke the power of sin, but until we're in heaven, we still live with the presence and influence of sinful desires. Don't think it's a stalemate" (p. 159). It's not something we can live at peace with. We must fight it. It may be tempting to feed the flesh because we've already been freed from sin by the cross, but the flesh can grow into a huge problem and stifle our sanctification. Instead we should starve the flesh. "The reality of God's grace should never be an excuse to be unconcerned about holiness.... Grace doesn't lull us into indifference toward righteousness. It trains us and compels us toward self-control and godliness" (p. 164).

What's great is that being aware of sin gives us hope when we connect it with the gospel.

1. It explains life - why we are not free from temptation
2. It gives patience towards other Christians who are also fighting against indwelling sin
3. It brings humility - we become aware of our weakness, God's ongoing work, and that sweeps away self-righteousness

Okay, so what is sin? It is rebellion, "a willful choice from the heart to make something besides God our ultimate concern" (p. 166). Part of dealing with sin is repentance, which we discussed earlier (the other part is grace). But what are we turning to? Obedience based on convictions, "heart-level, settled belief[s] before God that [don't] change with our environment.... something we believe... because we are convinced it's what God would have us believe (p. 170). We must strive to become like Jesus, not just by not doing wrong but by pursuing obedience--"actively doing righteousness" (p. 171). We do this because we love Jesus and that's what it's all about.

Question: Are you aware of an area in your life needing sanctification that you've been avoiding? Maybe it's how you talk to your kids, or showing respect to your unbelieving husband, or gossiping at work. Does the idea of obedience as loving Jesus change your sense of need for change?

The Doctrine of the Holy Spirit

Whether you're cessasionist (believe the gifts ended with the last apostles) or continuationist (believe the gifts continue today), Harris focuses us on our common ground as believers: the Holy Spirit exists. So what do we know about him?

1. The Holy Spirit is God
2. The Holy Spirit is a person
3. The Holy Spirit partners with the Father and the Son in the work of salvation
4. The Holy Spirit is active in our sanctification

Jesus himself referred to the Holy Spirit as another Helper or Counselor. The Greek words is "paraclete," which means "one who advocates for, defends, counsels, encourages, comforts, and helps" (p. 192).

Question: "There is no greater gift that God bestows than the gift of his Spirit. Are you aware of how he is working in you?" (p. 186, emphasis added). Start paying attention even in the "mundane" things in your life and see where God shows you his Spirit actively working.

The Doctrine of the Church

Harris says it best: "Most Christians neglect the doctrine of the church.... How can we claim to know and love Jesus and yet be indifferent toward his bride, his temple, his family, his own body? Can I say that I love Jesus but hate the wife he cherishes? Can I say I enjoy spending time with him but refuse to enter his house? Can I claim friendship with Jesus but think his body is repulsive? It's not possible.... What if we learned that the church was so precious to Jesus that he was willing to shed his own blood to obtain it?" (p. 197-199).

Many treat the church as a gas station--a place to fill up on Sundays and then move right along. But as Harris puts it, "It's the bus I'm supposed to be traveling on" (p. 203). And it's not a trip we take alone, but rather with other believers.

There are two essential elements of a church:

1. Right preaching of God's word - this means presenting the gospel, "Jesus' substitutionary death and resurrection for sinners as its central message" (p. 203).
2. Right practice of baptism and communion - these things "[reemphasize] the necessity of the church being a defined community fixated on the gospel of Jesus Christ" (p. 203).

"Christians are to join an assembly not just for their own spiritual health but so that the world around them can clearly see the reality of Jesus Christ" (p. 205). "God's purpose for me is inextricably tied to his purpose for his people" (p. 207). The world can't see God. The church is how they see him. We are representing him to the world as we join our lives together in the church. But we can't do this only by hanging out in our local church. We must go into the world and show them a different way, a better way: the transforming power of the crucified, risen Christ. "The advance of God's kingdom takes time. And contact" (p. 213). And love has to fuel this mission: "He told us just to love him, love each other, and love the world by telling them about him" (p. 214).

Question: What is one way you can advance the kingdom of God this week, even from the boundaries of your home, in the way you teach your kids, or your attitude at your job?

Humble Orthodoxy

To refresh, orthodoxy means right thinking about God. What's he getting at with the humble part? "Whether our theological knowledge is great or small, we all need to ask a vital question: what will we do with the knowledge of God that we have? Will it lead us to an ever-growing desire to know and love the Lord? Will it practically affect the way we think and live? Will we have the courage to hold on to the truth even when it isn't popular/ And how will we express our beliefs? With humility--or with pride?" (p. 218).

Okay, so we want to be humble in our knowledge of God, but what does that look like?

1. Strong commitment to sound doctrine
2. Courageous standing for biblical truth
3. Gracious in words and interaction with other people - "Genuine orthodoxy--the heart of which is the death of God's Son for undeserving sinners--is the most humbling, human-pride-smashing message in the world. And if we truly konw the gospel of grace, it will create in us a heart of humility and grace toward others.... The humility we need in our theology is first and foremost a humility before God" (p. 225).

Question: In your teaching of your children, in your living of life before unbelieving coworkers, in your handling of conflict with your husband, are you putting the beauty of God's truth on display or are you obscuring it?


Next week, Jenny will kick off the discussion of our next book, Living the Cross Centered Life, by C.J. Mahaney, which we start on Monday, March 15. Make sure to stop by the bookstore this Sunday to pick up a copy.

Blind Spots

At my job I see hundreds and hundreds of people every day. If you were looking for someone with a keen eye to pick out what's modest and what's not on women aged 4-70, I'm your girl. One of the strangest phenomenons that I've noticed is when you see what looks like a seventeen-year old standing with her back to you--and then she turns around and you realize that she's forty-three. Or nine. It's sad. But not my point. That was for free.

If you want someone to identify and label what's modest and what's not on other people, I'm your girl.

What I'm not so good at is identifying what's modest or immodest for me.

If you've ever read a novel written in the first person, then it's likely that you, as the spectator, know a lot more about the character than the character knows about herself. She has inadvertently revealed herself to you, and she doesn't even know it.

We can be just like that in our lives, totally blind to what is totally obvious to everyone else. That could mean you have a blind spot in your literal mirror. Or it could be something deeper in your character.

I'm blessed to have a sister who is concerned about my modesty, both outward and inward. She is faithful to prevent outward immodesty and to correct inward immodesty. I need it, because I can have huge blind spots.

Find a friend, sister, mother, daughter, cousin, in-law, caregroup member--someone who loves Jesus Christ more than she loves you, and ask her to point out your blind spots. It could hurt. It usually happens that what gets pointed out is something I never expected, or something that was just "me" and my personality, and it stings! But I'm better for it. Or maybe she won't think of anything. Don't relax. This is part of a lifetime of wartime: sanctification.

This isn't a call for us to nitpick and judge each other. It's a call for each of us to take responsibility for ourselves by asking someone else to speak into our lives. This is one-anothering. This is the pursuit of becoming conformed to the image of Christ to the glory and praise of God.

A matter of the heart

Confession: I have been immodest.

And not in the way you would think.

I had grown up being very conscious of modesty. I never liked anyone to see too much of my body, even if it was covered with clothes. When the school uniform required x-length shorts and skirts, mine were always at least an inch or two longer than the requirement. This was partly because I was short and so things were generally longer on me, but I could have had things shortened. I preferred not to push the limit.

I was on the basketball team my first two years at college. I wore a lot of windpants and tshirts. And if it wasn't windpants it was loose fitting jeans. Let's just say it wasn't very feminine. Even after I stopped playing, I maintained the image for the most part. It was easier. I was comfortable.

In spite of my attire, I received attention from one of the guys, and we began dating. I began to dress less like a jock, although I'm pretty sure I still came up short of feminine. It really just meant less windpants.

We dated for over a year. Then he left me for another girl.

As you can imagine, I was hurt. I was angry. I was desperate to get him back. It was like a switch clicked inside my brain. I began to use my body and the way that I dressed as a weapon. I would show him what he was missing.

Even during that time, I don't think I dressed immodestly, at least not very often. If anything, it was a step towards dressing more feminine. But my heart... oh, my heart was as immodest as it gets. My heart was filled with pride, bent on manipulation, and empty of care for others. I was outwardly clean but inwardly dirty. A whitewashed tomb of sorts. It took me a long time to acknowledge that what I was doing was sinful. I think I always knew it, I just wasn't willing to admit it.

Modesty isn't just about low necklines, exposed midriff, or skirt length. It is first and foremost a matter of the heart. Are you a woman who examines her clothing? Great. But more importantly, are you a woman who examines her heart?


*p.s. Thankfully, I didn't get that guy back, and now I have my husband, Tim--a man far better than the one I thought I'd lost.

Modesty--In and Out

Warm weather approaches!!!!!

I will be sorry to see the last of the snow melt and to have no more clear, frosty nights. There's something so cozy about Winter. Not to mention, it is a lot easier to find modest clothing when it's cold out!

In anticipation of the fast-approaching warm weather, Women By Design will be doing a few posts on modesty.

Probably nothing will be said that we all haven't heard before. Our desire is to simply bring to remembrance and reinforce Biblical principles you already know in fresh new ways.


So you're probably waiting for a list of 'don't wear this' and 'avoid this.' Well, the reason why conversations on modesty often quickly race toward the issue of clothing is because, well, clothing says a lot about a person. In other words, we can't see what is in a woman's heart, but we can see what is on her outside.

There are helpful guides, such as TFC's modesty handout and Sovereign Grace Ministries' modesty checklist. There are also good books, sermons, and lectures on the subject.

God grant us the grace and the sensitivity to detect any immodesty in our hearts, in our appearance, and in our manner. If there are no places left in our society where modesty is valued or practiced, let the church stand firm. We must "draw others to imitate [us] in good," as Richard Baxter says in his Christian Directory (Soli Deo Gloria Publications, pg. 393).

We have a responsibility toward the world--we must not ease their consciences' regarding their wickedness.

We ought to love our fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord--not tempting our sisters to "envy and to imitate" and our brothers to "lust and wantonness." (Ibid.)

Most of all, we are to obey our heavenly Father, joyfully. The 'want to,' not the 'have to.' The "Be holy, for I am holy" (1 Peter 1:16) kind of living.

There is the danger of outwardly complying, yet inwardly rebelling. There's that thinking, "I can't believe she's wearing that! I would never wear that!!!" Secretly, in your heart, you wish your mom would let you wear that fashion or you wish you were thinner so you could 'pull it off' or you desire the envy of women and the attention of men. God is not mocked; He is not fooled by outward appearances.

There is no limit to the grace God showers upon His children. We can strive for a truly modest spirit because our Father gives us the ability to do what He commands us to do. Has the Lord given you victory in this area? What means of grace did God provide you with to grow in modesty (people, resources, etc.)?

Teachers and Learners

I'm back from a week of vacation with Tim. It was wonderful. A whole week of vacation, just the two of us. The first time we've ever done that. It was sweet. Very, very restful and a good time of reconnection. Though I didn't come back with a tan I did come back with a smile.

But because there is laundry to do, a menu to plan, groceries to buy and a house to clean (again!) this may be brief. Right about now I'm thinking someone should start a business called, "Vacation Magician". I'd be tempted to pay someone almost anything for me to be able to come home to a full refrigerator, a hot meal and someone to hand over all the unpleasant duties of re-entry into the real world. But, alas, this is life in my real world, and when I finally put my "hand to the plow", it does feel good. This is where I belong. This is my calling and it is GOOD.

If I could jump ahead in this series from Titus 2, I'd have a lot of inspiring words for young women to love their husbands! A romantic get-a-way away will do that! But I am going to try to stay on course with a somewhat systematic approach to this. So today I'll just give you a glimpse of what's ahead.

Paul tells us there are teachers and there are learners. So we will be spending several weeks looking at the teachers: both their character qualities and the content of their teaching. Then we'll look at the learners, who they are and what is to be the attitude of a humble learner.

But before we do, today can I ask you all, no matter what your age or stage of life, to be open to reading and being shaped by Titus 2? You may not be married. You may be a divorcee. You may be childless. You may be a teenager. Believe it or not, there is something here for you. I can guarantee it because it is God's Word and God's word is relevant for us all. For example, if you are single and you read about loving your husband you will have a choice. You can choose to skip the reading because it doesn't seem to apply to you, or you can read it and learn what loving a husband looks like. You can do this because you can prepare yourself for the day you might have a husband, and you can learn what loving a husband means so that you can encourage your married sisters.

I hope to bring application to all women, but please hang in there with me if you do not find an immediate application. We are all teachers and learners, no matter what is our age and stage of life and spiritual growth. We all have women we can learn from and there will always be women, teens and young girls younger than us who we can teach. Even if we've made a lot of mistakes through sinful choices. God is all about redeeming our lives in spite of all our baggage. He wants to turn our ashes into fire that burns brightly for His Kingdom. We are all spiritual Cinderella's: broken, lonely, lost. In Christ we are restored, given a family, a kingdom and a purpose. We all have much we can teach and we all have more we can learn.

How has this been your experience?

I'd love to hear who your teachers have been and who is learning from you?

Gotta go. The "To Do List" is calling.

On the Lighter Side

Do you ever find yourself in Shop-Rite singing under your breath to a song you haven't heard in twenty years and then think to yourself how on earth do I remember these words?

Do you ever wonder how your kids can effortlessly memorize hundreds of songs, but can't study their history or English grammar?

Do you find yourself wishing you had a Scripture verse memorized for every silly song you knew?

Well, have I got just the thing for you! The folks at Forever Grateful Music have produced a series of albums called Hide the Word. Each album has between 18-25 Scripture verses set to music. They are really good!

And I think you'll like them. Do you enjoy the music we sing on Sunday mornings? Then you'll enjoy these. Pastor Mark Altrogge is the mastermind behind the Hide the Word albums, the same Mark Altrogge who is responsible for many of the worship songs that we enjoy at TFC. Pastor Altrogge ministers at one of our sister churches, Sovereign Grace Church of Indiana, PA, and many of his songs have been featured on Sovereign Grace Music albums.

Here's what Pastor Altrogge has to say:

"I began putting Scripture to music many years ago and found that I was able to memorize the Scriptures much more quickly. Then when I had children, I did the same for them and found that they were able to learn the verses fairly easily. That's what gave me the idea for Hide the Word."

Hide the Word combines the power of music with the power of repetition to make memorizing God's Word easy. Each Scripture, including its reference, is made into a song. Each Scripture is repeated at least 3 times per song. As you play the music while driving, doing dishes, or any other time throughout your day, you will find yourself quickly picking up the verses and recalling them from memory.

 This is an investment worth making!

Dug Down Deep (3)

We've been reading and learning about some serious foundational concepts of the Christian faith in our current book, Dug Down Deep, by Joshua Harris. Bedrock really. I thought we'd take a moment to review some of these ideas, which hopefully now don't look so big and scary.

First up: Theology

In chapter 3, Josh tells us that theology is the study of God--God's church, God's plan of salvation, God's work in us to make us like Jesus, etc. More specifically, there is theology proper, or the doctrine of God--who God is and what he is like. Why is this important? "What we think about God--what we understand about his character and his attributes--shapes our understanding of every other doctrine and even life itself" (p. 39). What are some of these characteristics and attributes?

1. I am created / God is creator
2. I have a beginning / God is eternal
3. I am dependent / God is self-existent
4. I am limited in space / God is omnipresent
5. I am limited in power / God is almighty
6. I am limited in knowledge / God is all-knowing

In short, God is qualitatively different from us. He is holy, which deals not just with moral purity but with God as "separate from his creation in his perfection and power.... transcendent.... above us and beyond us" (p. 43).

Question: How does your concept of God affect your everyday life as an employee, a wife, a mom, a sister, a grandmother, a daughter, a widow, a friend?


The Doctrine of Scripture

What is the Bible? Where does it come from? What are its characteristics? How are we supposed to read and obey it? These are all questions answered by the the doctrine of Scripture. In chapter 4, we see that one major facet in the doctrine of Scripture is the necessity of Scripture--the Bible is "necessary for us to know and obey God" (p. 57). Without it we would not know the heart of God towards his people. Then we read about three major components of the doctrine of Scripture:

1. Inerrancy - "It is totally true--free from error--in all it affirms" (p. 68).
2. Clarity - It is self-interpreting.
3. Sufficiency - It gives us "all we need to know for salvation and eternal life" (p. 69).

Josh sums it up best: "The Bible is the story of what God has done for us. We don't come to it to receive instructions on saving ourselves. It's not a list of rules and guidelines that we must follow perfectly in order to earn our way into God's favor. The Bible is the story of what he has done. It's the story of how every man-made effort at salvation fails and only the grace of God can rescue and redeem sinners" (p. 72).

Question: Does a limited view of Scripture cause you to refer to other sources for answers to the situations in your life: a conflict with a co-worker, a misbehaving child, an unbelieving husband?


The Doctrine of the Person and Work of Christ

The person is who Jesus is. The work is what he has done for us. In chapter 5 we see that in order to rightly understand the person of Christ, we must see that he was both God and man at the same time. He was truly God, and proved his divine nature through the virgin conception, supernatural miracles, and his own claims of equality with God. And he was also truly man, born by a human mother, grew and developed, hungered and thirsted, experienced human emotions, grew tired, etc. What did this God-man come to do? "The work he came to accomplish is nothing less than the setting right of all that is wrong--in our relationship with God, in our hearts, in creation, in the whole universe.... Jesus didn't come only to save me, forgive my sins, and improve my life. He does all this, but this is only a small part of a much bigger picture" (p. 87).

Question: How often are you affected by the fact that God himself died for your sins?


Atonement

Atonement "speaks of how sinful, guilty men and women can have a restored relationship with a perfectly good and righteous God..." (p. 98). It's part of what the work of Christ accomplished. There are three keys to understanding atonement. First, the trinitarian nature of God. "The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit worked together to save mankind.... at the cross, God himself both delivered and received the blow" (p. 101). An amazing concept. Second, the holiness and justice of God. "Because God is holy and just, no one will get away with anything in this life" (p. 104). God must punish sin, because if he doesn't, he ceases to be holy and just. Third, our own guilt and sin before God. "We all carry around some sense that we've done wrong, that we haven't measured up to the standards of others or to our own standards--much less the standards of God.... Our problem is far greater than we imagine" (p. 105, 110).

"The unimaginable message of the Bible is that God's love for us is so great that he made a way for us to be good again though the atoning life and death of his Son" (p. 111). As we saw earlier, Jesus came to reconcile us to God--that is the work of Christ. He did so by penal substitution--he paid the penalty for our sins. He died taking our punishment upon himself. And what is the result of this work? Propitiation--the satisfying and turning away of God's wrath. This could not be done of our own will or power or work, it had to be done by Jesus himself.

"There is a way to be good again. It is to trust in Jesus and his atoning death" (p. 115).

Question: Are you constantly trying to "be better at," "work harder at" overcoming anger at your child, disrespect towards your husband, or gossiping at work? Or are you trusting in Jesus' atoning work to cover your sins and to change who you are from the inside out?


Next week, we'll take a look at the concepts covered in chapters 7-11. And we'll start up with our next book, Living the Cross Centered Life, by C.J. Mahaney, on Monday, March 15. Make sure to stop by the bookstore this Sunday to order a copy.

How to Love Your Sister Pt. 2

I was the bully. Jenny was the drama queen.
I cut holes in Jenny's afghan...just 'cause. Jenny wailed as if her world, and not just a blanket, was crumbling around her.

I was the tomboy. Jenny was the little princess.
I collected frogs and slugs. Jenny dressed up in princess outfits to visit the library.

I was the logical mathematician. Jenny was the creative writer.
My world had to be explainable and knowable. Jenny delighted in the unexplainable and unknowable.


So how in the world do two wholly different people commune peaceably, or joyfully? We have learned to start at the cross and work outward. Forgiveness becomes simple when you know just how much has been forgiven you in Christ.

For me, I only found the desire/strength/will to love my sister after asking the Lord for it. I didn't want the superficial "she's family so I love her" front, but a real, sacrificial "one-anothering" kind of love. That's a Spirit-given, Jesus-kind of love. The only "answer" to how to love your sister is prayer.

There are, however, several practical "rules" Jenny and I try to practice.

1. No pop psychology! All counsel and advice must come from the Bible! We are not the other's foundation or support. We aim to point each other toward God as our foundation.

2. When we drive anywhere, before we pull out of the driveway we lay down guidelines for our behavior toward each other. The number one guideline is that God is sovereign over everything. Everything that happens is for our good. And we both have permission to remind each other of that as often as needed. Traffic, rainstorms, flat tires, hunger, getting lost, and GPS failure are all under God's providence.

We have set up that whoever is not driving controls the iPod. That's practical. Whoever is driving gets to control the internal temperature of the car (which means an Arctic to Saharan difference). When things break down, we are learning to pray together for our Father's forgiveness. No more blameshifting and excusemaking! Sin is sin.

3. We cook together, which can be a challenge! Remember what I said about the logician and the dreamer? Different kitchen worldviews! We have a joke that our cooking together means I cook while Jenny watches from her stool in the corner. God's grace has shown me patience and even a chuckle or two, like when she can't measure water or burns the kitchen floor or explodes half of dinner in the blender. It's funny. We laugh together, knowing that in light of eternity, it's just not a big deal. (In fact, we're both giggling as I write this remembering how just a few hours ago Jenny sent dinner all over the kitchen.) Godly love doesn't just overlook weaknesses, but seeks to strengthen it. So now we cook together, and I teach her technique. And she reciprocates in her area of strength.

4. We enjoy each other, forgiving when necessary, correcting when necessary, always preaching the Gospel to each other. We read good books to each other and listen to good preachers together. Our fellowship is in Christ.

We have far to go, but I'm so thankful for the grace that has brought us farther than we would have thought possible. There a hundreds of ways to show love to "that person" in your life. Many are practical, but those practicalities will only flow from the love that Christ has given you. Are you praying for a God-given love? The other person may not respond. God knows. He loved us while we were enemies and hated Him. Only He can give us Christ-like love. Pray!

How to Love Your Sister Pt. 1

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.
Barbara Alpert

I get this exclamation a lot, from heavenlings and worldlings alike, that Robin and I are so close! I guess it's rare to see two relatively young* sisters get along so well. It saddens me to think that Robin and I are the exception to the rule, that so many sisters are missing out on the great gift that God has given them. So maybe as an encouragement, Robbie and I thought we would share a little bit about the grace God has given us to be able to overcome our natural enmity, because as we will both tell you, we weren't always close. In fact, we didn't even like each other.

We're only twenty months apart and so share many of the same experiences, which is not at all the same thing as experiencing the same thing.We have very different personalities, very different ways of thinking, and very different quirks--hence, mutual dislike and irritation. Except sisters are sneaky--because we couldn't avoid each other, we learned how to use and manipulate each other. Our relationship was a breeding ground of selfishness.

It wasn't totally bad. You wouldn't look at us and think that we hated each other. We got along tolerably well in public and even enjoyed each other's company--to an extent. I don't feel bad speaking for her, as we've repented about this to each other, but we both used each other. Robin had a car, which meant freedom for me. Robin was really shy, and I was bolder and willing to lead, which meant freedom for her. Privately, we fought over everything, and inflicted cruel words and acts upon each other. As time went on, I began to not know how to live without her--my entire selfish life was bound up in what I could get out of her, whether emotionally or financially.

So, we went off to college together and shared a tiny shoebox-sized room with a third person. That was fun, you betcha. Then we did it a second year. And we did get better, just through the natural maturing process. But our hearts were still selfish and we still used each other and we still fought.

Then everything changed. Through the teaching of one Bible professor on campus, the Holy Spirit began convicting my heart and stirring a desire for holiness in me. I saw my sin as I had never seen it before--my sin, not her sin. I saw my Savior as infinitely dear, infinitely precious, infinitely loving. All of the selfish motives for which I used my sister were revealed as idolatry. I wanted her to be as God to me, and when she failed, I despised her for it.

But once I saw Christ as supremely precious and gloriously sovereign, worthy of worship and adoration, I was freed to love my sister as a fellow creature and as a fellow heir in Christ.


And Robin will continue tomorrow!


*Just for the record, contrary to popular belief, I represent the younger half of this young duo.

Making the Bible Believable

Frequently when women are given teaching from Titus 2, I've heard them say to me, "Oh no! Not this again!! Can't we move on to other things? Can't we study the deep things of God?"

I appreciate their desire to study Scripture. It is God's will that we be students of His Word (theologians), for it is only the truth of the Gospel (as found in the whole of Scripture) which establishes us firm in our faith, equipping us for every good work, and for every spiritual battle (2 Timothy 2:15,16; Ephesians 6:10-20).

So, why, out of all the books in the Bible, should Titus be one book that women keep coming back to? Shouldn't it be a book that is read once a year like all the other books as part of a "through the Bible in a year" reading program?

Good question.

First of all, the book of Titus isn't a "for women only" book. It is a book that should be often referred to by pastors, older men, young men, and people who work for a boss. There is truth in this book for everyone, no matter what their gender, age, or position. But this book does contain a specific focus for women where we find a specific command to teach and learn and live the Titus 2 way.

Also, there is nothing in this book that isn't taught elsewhere in the Bible. The book of Titus is consistent with the doctrine of manhood and womanhood found throughout scripture. Though this book is short, and could be easily overlooked, it packs a punch with its concise presentation of the Gospel and application to life. When we study the book of Titus, we are being theologians. We are studying theology. This is deep stuff. And it is mysterious. For in this book we learn specifically how the conduct of our lives makes a difference for the effective advance of the Gospel.

Paul realized the only way for the message of the Gospel to be communicated effectively in a culture steeped in a mix of religiosity and secularism was for the believers to live it in such a way as to validate the words spoken. In other words: Live in such a way as to make the Bible believable.

Some women get hung up on the specifics of the "Titus 2 woman." They quickly jump to conclusions about matters like submission and working outside the home. There are extremes in both directions and a lot of fuzzy thinking in between. Some will dogmatically assert that Titus 2 teaches that submission means wearing gingham jumpers, no make-up, homeschooling, and never expressing an opinion. On the other hand, there are others who are quick to assert that Christian women must not be governed by a list of do's and don'ts. They maintain that they must live in the "freedom of Christ" and be all that they can be (just like unsaved women only with Christ's name pinned to the lapel of their business suit). But this is not what makes the Bible believable.

So, what does make the Bible believable? The answer is found in chapter 1:16, "They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works" and 2:5 "... so that the Word of God may not be reviled." The way we live makes the Bible either believable or unbelievable.

Let me put it to you with some questions as food for thought:

Do my children (young or grown) observe my overall lifestyle as being consistent with my profession of faith?
Do my neighbors see a difference in me, other than that they see me pull out of the driveway for church on a Sunday morning?
Do my unsaved family members see what faith looks like?
What do my girlfriends hear me talk about most?

Or:
Do my children think that God is not worth trusting since mommy still worries, frets, and gets angry with daddy?
Do my girlfriends wonder what difference Christ makes when they see me eating too much, talking too much, sleeping too much, and "dissing" my husband?
Do my neighbors wonder if I really mean what I say when I tell them, "God is enough" when I am scrambling to work in order to pay for more stuff?
Do my unsaved family members hear that the husband/wife relationship is to reflect the God the Father and Son's relationship (1 Corinthians 11:3), but get the impression from my marriage that God the Father and God the Son must be in conflict and competing with each other for their own rights?

As Carolyn Mahaney points out: Usually unbelievers are not interested in our doctrine. They are more interested to see if our doctrine works (paraphrase from Teach What Is Good).

For example: One thing most everyone knows about the Bible is that it tells us to "love our neighbor." Many years ago my neighbor changed the placement of her garbage can at the end of her driveway, which meant we needed to change where we placed ours. This really irritated me, and so, rather than love her, I began competing with her for garbage can placement. I thought if I put my can out before she did, then she'd get the point. Well, to make a stupid story short, I was not demonstrating Christ-like love for my neighbor. After several weeks of this silly game I did end up having a helpful, and humble conversation with her where I admitted my anger and asked for her forgiveness, which did open up a conversation about Christ.

Another example: Have you ever had the experience of receiving praise for the kind of marriage you have, or the good kids you have? These are powerful opportunities to witness for Christ. We must clearly communicate to people that it is ONLY because of what Christ has done for us and in us that we can even begin to have a marriage and family that is praiseworthy. When we do not (and I'm sad to say I've been guilty of this as well) we take praise onto ourselves and people lose an opportunity to hear about the Gospel.

"... the church is to have a godly impact on an ungodly world. This is what makes our evangelistic efforts and impact effective and fruitful.

You may claim to have true doctrine, biblical doctrine. In your head you may know true biblical doctrine. But if you’re living in a way that is contrary to the true biblical doctrine, then what you really believe is not true doctrine. Doctrine and life have to match each other (Nancy Leigh DeMoss - Revive Our Hearts ministry).

That's how we make the Bible believable.

Monthly Wrap-Up: February

Well, it's been one month since the relaunch of the Women By Design blog. We hope you've been blessed this month and that you're feeling comfortable in our new home. Here's the month in review:

We began the month looking at what it means to be a woman by design.

- Gayline encouraged us to embrace our sovereignly designed womanhood
- Brooke talked about her early-life struggle with femininity
- Jenn wrote about her battle with her inner-feminist
- And Robin wrapped up our intro week with a look back at the Garden of Eden and pitfalls we should avoid

After a snowy weekend, Gayline began her Titus 2 series, something you'll want to keep tuning into just about every Monday. Jenn, Robin, and Brooke filled out the week with a series on Proverbs 31.

We also kicked off our What Are You Reading? series, beginning with a new book from Joshua Harris, Dug Down Deep. We hope that you've been reading along and trust that you are enjoying the journey.

In week three, we looked at the implications of theology on everyday life, parenting, and worship. Last week we capped off the month with three posts on humility, pulled straight from TFC's RMMR reading plan.

We hope you'll join us this month as we continue on in Titus 2 and Dug Down Deep, and take a look at sisterhood, modesty, the love of others and more!