How to Love Your Sister Pt. 2

I was the bully. Jenny was the drama queen.
I cut holes in Jenny's afghan...just 'cause. Jenny wailed as if her world, and not just a blanket, was crumbling around her.

I was the tomboy. Jenny was the little princess.
I collected frogs and slugs. Jenny dressed up in princess outfits to visit the library.

I was the logical mathematician. Jenny was the creative writer.
My world had to be explainable and knowable. Jenny delighted in the unexplainable and unknowable.


So how in the world do two wholly different people commune peaceably, or joyfully? We have learned to start at the cross and work outward. Forgiveness becomes simple when you know just how much has been forgiven you in Christ.

For me, I only found the desire/strength/will to love my sister after asking the Lord for it. I didn't want the superficial "she's family so I love her" front, but a real, sacrificial "one-anothering" kind of love. That's a Spirit-given, Jesus-kind of love. The only "answer" to how to love your sister is prayer.

There are, however, several practical "rules" Jenny and I try to practice.

1. No pop psychology! All counsel and advice must come from the Bible! We are not the other's foundation or support. We aim to point each other toward God as our foundation.

2. When we drive anywhere, before we pull out of the driveway we lay down guidelines for our behavior toward each other. The number one guideline is that God is sovereign over everything. Everything that happens is for our good. And we both have permission to remind each other of that as often as needed. Traffic, rainstorms, flat tires, hunger, getting lost, and GPS failure are all under God's providence.

We have set up that whoever is not driving controls the iPod. That's practical. Whoever is driving gets to control the internal temperature of the car (which means an Arctic to Saharan difference). When things break down, we are learning to pray together for our Father's forgiveness. No more blameshifting and excusemaking! Sin is sin.

3. We cook together, which can be a challenge! Remember what I said about the logician and the dreamer? Different kitchen worldviews! We have a joke that our cooking together means I cook while Jenny watches from her stool in the corner. God's grace has shown me patience and even a chuckle or two, like when she can't measure water or burns the kitchen floor or explodes half of dinner in the blender. It's funny. We laugh together, knowing that in light of eternity, it's just not a big deal. (In fact, we're both giggling as I write this remembering how just a few hours ago Jenny sent dinner all over the kitchen.) Godly love doesn't just overlook weaknesses, but seeks to strengthen it. So now we cook together, and I teach her technique. And she reciprocates in her area of strength.

4. We enjoy each other, forgiving when necessary, correcting when necessary, always preaching the Gospel to each other. We read good books to each other and listen to good preachers together. Our fellowship is in Christ.

We have far to go, but I'm so thankful for the grace that has brought us farther than we would have thought possible. There a hundreds of ways to show love to "that person" in your life. Many are practical, but those practicalities will only flow from the love that Christ has given you. Are you praying for a God-given love? The other person may not respond. God knows. He loved us while we were enemies and hated Him. Only He can give us Christ-like love. Pray!